BlogaVlogmas Day 11: Things I learned During My Final

1) Wild type C. elegans actively search for a vulva after penetration until they find it. Actively. Search.

2) If you want to find a blonde, go to Sweden. They're 50% blonde over there (or 70% if you count dirty blondes).

3) Flies can look like bees. You just have to mutate them the right way.

BlogaVlogamas Day 10: Finished with Finals!

But I still have 2 proposals and a fellowship application to do. Ohhh wells. Also, yesterday was the Chem Bio holiday party. That was fun. :)

BlogaVlogmas Day 8: A Week In!

Today, I learned about fly genetics, ate some cashew chicken, and demolished a whole bunch of Milanos.

I also realized that the trick to blogging every day is to not expect to speak volumes of wisdom each time you blog. Between finals and work and class, who has time to impart wisdom? I don't even know if my brain can handle any more information at this point.

Except this: at Starbucks, never get the Skinny Peppermint Mocha. The regular one is great, and delicious. The Skinny is not worth it. Ever. It's watery and gross. Don't do it, people. Just....don't.

And then I saw Kristin Chenoweth speak

(And sing!)

And the world was better.

BlogaVlogmas Day 7: Out of Sorts

I didn't sleep well last night. Maybe I was too warm because I kept waking up all sorts of thirsty. Regardless, I feel remarkably out of sorts today. I haven't felt this way in a long time, maybe since high school or the early years of college. It's the kind of day where I don't feel like talking to anyone, where I'm not happy, but I don't know why. I can turn the feeling off when I'm in class or have to interact with people, but the moment I am alone, all I really want to do is lie in my bed and listen to sad music. There's this sinking feeling in my chest that I know didn't come from the coffee I drank this morning, and if I close my eyes, my thoughts look like dark blue knots of water, if that makes any sense.

This feeling is different from my "need to recharge" feeling. Recharging for me usually consists of watching fun movies or fangirling over people on tumblr. It's antisocial, but I'm still a ball of happy. This is...not the same thing.

It's not that I'm tired. If I close my eyes, I don't fall asleep. I'm not angry. No one has wronged me. I'm not sad. Even though a tear or two leaks out occasionally, I don't have anything to be sad about.

I know that people can't be happy all the time. It's just not realistic. And I embrace what I'm feeling right now. Because I'm not unhappy. Even though I know I can probably force myself to act happy, it seems a little silly to conform this societal expectation that people should be outwardly pleasant all the time, especially when there's no one else around.

So really, I just woke up tossing and turning and don't have a good reason for feeling boneless and antisocial. That's all.

BlogaVlogmas Day 6: Today

Did science. A lot of science.

Went to BM's birthday dinner.

Had a "Little Prince." It was delicious.

Also, took 2 naps. Totally crashed during each of them. I'm not ashamed to admit that had they gone longer, I would have been drool-y. This means I need more sleep.

Goodnight.

BlogaVlogmas Day 5: A Number of Firsts

First, let me say, that sometimes, I write about firsts. I am still young. I am still learning. And I hope that in the future, I will have many more firsts. There are enough experiences in the world so that one can conceivably have a new first every day, but we get stuck sometimes in our mundane lives without remembering that (sometimes terrifying) thrill one gets from doing something for the first time.

Today:

I poured and ran my first gel. I got all the DNA in the wells. Yay me!
[I also watched, with some apprehension, as the plume of what I can only assume was steam came barreling out of the agarose/buffer solution after I took it out of the microwave.]

I plated my first bacterial colonies. There was ethanol. And fire.
[I tried not to smell the bacteria.]

I got started on my first Secret Santa shopping experience.
[I think I got this.]

---
I also had my third morning coffee in a row today. I haven't had coffee for caffeine in over a month. It's been...rough times. End of semester. Waking up early. Needed to know things. Bah.

EDIT: IT'S ALSO MY 100TH BLOG POST ON THIS BLOG!!!!

BlogaVlogmas Day 4: Eating Alone

First of all: first final of grad school - DONE. :)

Next.

I have no problems eating alone in dining halls or cafes. If you have something with which to occupy yourself (like reading or writing or...blogging), you will probably look marginally less sad and pathetic to those who derive their energy from others. But for me, a person who gets drained very easily by exams and large-scale social interactions, eating by myself is a nice way to escape into my own thoughts or my problem sets or a rerun of 30 Rock, while letting the white noise of the dining room wash over me. I don't have to worry about people judging what I eat or how fast I eat it; I don't have to worry about making dinner conversation, which, let's face it, can get a little stale, like that bread you accidentally left on the counter last week.

Obviously, I'm not a shut-in. I like people. I like my friends. And I like to have dinner with them. I realize that  I can much too easily slip back in my old habits where I just avoid people and do work and watch movies in my room. This is why I try not to say no when people try to make plans with me. Social interaction is good for me. Ultimately though, when I am tired and haven't made plans with anyone, I like to be alone, to recharge. I won't say no to a friend if they want to join me, but when you're an acquaintance at best (and not a very good one), please give me the time to be by myself. I simply do not have the energy to navigate the conversations needed to make friends with you when we have very few things in common. Making friends is a process for me. It only works when I'm ready to expand my social circle and am feeling friendly. I cannot feel friendly when I don't have enough food or sleep (both of which occur often in the dining hall).

Again, not averse to making friends and being friendly. But when your starting line to me is that I look sad or lonely eating alone, it makes me much less likely to want to talk to you. Also, your line that "no one should eat alone" doesn't sit right with me (see paragraph 3).

So do come up to talk to me if for some, inexplicable reason, you find my sullen face and furious typing intriguing. I'll welcome you, even in my sleep-drunk state. But don't insult me by mistaking my lack of interacting with you for an inability to interact with anyone, and don't try to get me to talk to you by trying to undercut my self-confidence as if my choice to eat alone was due to lonesome desperation.

That's just sad.

BlogaVlogmas Day 3: Going to things Alone and Other Points of the Day

Point 1:
Yesterday, I wrote about how it's pretty vital to have a good guy:girl ratio at certain events. However, this does not mean you can't enjoy yourself if you go to things alone. Obviously, if you have friends who enjoy the same activities as you do, it's much better to go with them, seeing as how they're your friends and you'll be likely to enjoy each other's company. But when one friend forgets to come to a Christmas carol concert with you and decides to make soup instead, you shouldn't just not go because sh'es not going. It could turn out to be a nice break from thinking about homologous recombination and pedigrees and you might get some good music out of it as well.

Point 2:
It was a beautiful day, the kind of warm and balmy day that makes you wonder if you haven't been transported into the springtime where the trees aren't hibernating, but just waking up. Wearing just a fleece in December is glorious.

Point 3:
Can I just say how glad I am the FW is back to teaching my class? I can? Well I am. I am so glad. That doesn't make my problem set any easier but it makes going to class so much more fun.

BlogaVlogmas Day 2: Ratios

For most of my youth, my friends have consisted of mostly guys. I was much more of a tomboy back in the days when my muscle mass was about equal to the average smaller-than-average boy my age. I could kick serious butt at handball, was a fearless jungle gym climber, and was a pretty fast sprinter (fie to 23andMe for saying my SNPs reveal an "unlikely sprinter"). Although I wasn't completely devoid of girl friends, if I had to choose, guys were just easier to get along with. There weren't any politics or backstabbing or tears and they didn't care how I was dressed or what my hair was doing that day. (Neither did I, so it was a great relationship.)

At the end of middle school, when everyone except me grew two feet and started being awkward because of body changes, I resisted conforming to girl world. It may have been that I was still super awkward and looked like I came out of a hard day's work at the mines, but I still think that boys were less judgmental of how I acted because I was a such a bro.

Then I learned how to dress myself. And started living with girls. And started connecting with lady-folk through excessive fan-girling and cuddles. And that's when things got tricky.

Because now that we're "adults" there are these functions that don't quite work out if you don't have a date. Like Winter Formals where all you do is waltz. Of course, you can go with all your girl friends, but for dances where the partners have very specific gender-encoded steps, it's difficult to do without, well, men. You could argue that the partners don't have to be of different genders, etc. etc. and that is absolutely true. But if you've been taught the waltz from your perspective, it's hard to switch it up when it's "just us girls." You have to make sure that you've got enough guy friends to make it work and it's just all complicated when it doesn't work out because somebody has to dance with a stranger. 

I'm not at all sure where this is going, but I think the moral has to be: in grad school, with groups of friends, ratios matter. Not only in terms of having different perspectives and conversation topics, but in terms of waltzing logistics. I feel a bit obligated to say that it's not necessarily a gender thing. It's a "who's leading" thing. If you've got enough people to lead and enough to follow, you're golden. You just better make sure everyone will be there.

Blog-a-Vlogmas Day 1: Poor-ish Life Decisions

A couple days ago, after work ceased being too crazy, I had a crazy thought. I am going to do Blog-a-Vlogmas, where I write a blog post and make a vlog every day until Christmas. This will no doubt get harder on the days where I actually do get busy (still have finals and papers and problem sets) or when I don't feel with it enough to make a video or have nothing to talk about (which I often don't; my life is pretty mundane to most people). But I'm going to try because I feel like this year is slipping by so quickly that I don't know what to do with myself.

I should probably give myself an incentive to finish this project, but at the moment, this is still an idea from the whimsy of my mind, so we'll worry about that later.

Today's topic: Poor-ish Life Decisions

In my life, I admit, I have made a few poor life decisions: staying up and watching movies until 4 AM when I have a 9 AM class, not eating when I'm hungry because I'm too lazy to get out of bed, getting dehydrated when I know I could be/should be drinking water, etc. These seem pretty tame, mostly because I am not the type to get raging blackout drunk and have scandalous affairs that I can't remember due to my insides being completely jumbled up.

I have also made some questionable choices in life, mostly through my interactions with other people, though, because they have helped shape me as I am today, I don't regret most of them. There are times I could have spent my time more wisely, people who I should have spent my time more wisely with, etc, but overall, I am ok with how I turned out and where I am in my life.

Then comes last night. We were supposed to just watch a movie and have a pretty laid-back night, but the movie was sold out so we went back to BM's house to play some board games. Fine. Board games are wonderful. However, B has a pretty extensive liquor (and liqueur) collection, so there was some experimentation. Let me say that Rum Chata, Kahlua, Spiced Rum, and milk tastes like a coffee milkshake and is freaking delicious. This was not a poor life decision. In fact, there were no poor life decisions made last night - only poor-ish life decisions. Such as my decision not to sober up a little before going to sleep, which ended up with me waking up at 8 AM really, really cold due to not enough blankets and/or pajamas. Such as my decision not to go to the bathroom before going to bed, contributing to the rude awakening at 8 AM. Such as my decision to try to go back to sleep even though I really needed to pee just because it was too cold outside my covers to get up. Full disclosure: it's snowing right now. It's pretty darn cold outside.

All things considered, I had a really good night. We lost horribly at Cranium (not totally my fault), got creamed at Boggle (siiighhh BM/HH), and almost, but didn't really, come back at Catchphrase (which makes it seem like I had a really bad night at board games, but I didn't really mind). I drank more than was anticipating because I wasn't anticipating drinking anything, but have suffered no adverse effects besides dry mouth and cold feet. It's snowing outside, which is awesome. I've been waiting for it to snow. And Winter Formal is tonight. Even though there's someone I want to be going with, I have accepted that this cannot happen now, and have chosen to make the best of the situation. After all, Christmas is not that far away.

Advising

Here's the funny thing about advice. You ask for it having previous conceptions about what you think you want to hear. Sometimes, you do hear what you want to hear and it confirms what you think you know about yourself. Sometimes, you get great advice! You get amazing tips and tricks and life is rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes, you don't.

This can be quite frustrating for many obvious reasons, not the least the fact that there's this nagging feeling that people are trying to make you do what you don't want to do, which is never fun. In this case, it seems rude to dismiss the advice because hey, you asked for it, and also because the people you asked to advise you are probably people who know something you don't, who can see something you don't. And then there's that little voice inside your head that says, "What if they're right? What if the best thing for me is to do what I don't want to do?"

It doesn't change the fact that every cell in your body rejects this idea. "They don't know me," you think. "I want to do what I want. Isn't it time that I get that courtesy?"

But then, maybe, just maybe, if you think about it, they do know you. Maybe, if you look closer, the advice isn't just something that you should throw by the side of the road. Pick it up, brush it off. It might truly be not only the best thing for you, but something that, upon closer inspection, you do want to do yourself. I mean, your advisers aren't the enemy. They're on your side. They see what you don't see.

So don't reject all advice that seems at first rejectable. Consider why they gave that advice in the first place. Then, do what you want.

Things I Learned in China: Part 1

I've been in China thus far for five days and in these five days, I have turned a year older and grown a bit wiser. Here are some of the things I learned.

1) If you have Gmail, get another email when coming to China. Sometimes, the overlords will block Gmail (or the whole of Google) randomly. And Youtube, Facebook, and Blogger are strictly off limits at all times. Alternatively, get access to a reliable proxy if you don't want to miss your Youtube subscriptions.

2) The Chinese are always out to compete with one another. Case and point: the Pudong region of Shanghai (east of the river) has such things as freestanding pergolas next to some stop lights that provide shade to those waiting for the light to change. If in doubt of their purposes, the words on the structure literally invite you to wait in the shade while the light is still red.

3) So. Much. Food. Sometimes, people put excessive weight on the fact that people who are visiting a place tend to eat out. As in, Every Day. However, in the five days I have been here, I have eaten at three different restaurants, had take out for breakfast and have absolutely no regrets. Perhaps it's a little different in China because so many people buy takeout breakfast, but there were legit restaurants the next couple days. We went to a buffet the third day for my aunt's birthday (mixture of Middle Eastern and Japanese food, complete with belly dancers), a sushi place for my birthday (with lichi cocktail that wasn't that tasty), and a Chinese restaurant today (oh my lord the spicy stays in your throat). I think the trick has to be to eat your fancy meal for lunch and eat a light dinner. That way, you can work off some of your calories as you're perusing strange marketplaces beneath Science Centers.

4) Don't order the fruit juice in restaurants. You don't know what's in it.

5) I have fallen back in love with Glee because of Damian McGinty and his equally adorable roommate Cameron Mitchell.


So that's my brief interlude onto the internet. I will update as possible and am now going to go watch more Rory on Glee.

Toodles!

Leaving a Bit Behind: Goodbyes

Three years and nine months ago, I came to this place so excited that I had goosebumps despite the smothering humidity and so terrified that I could stop moving for fear that if I ran out of something to do, the reality of the change before me would smack me down like an elephant-sized cinder block, straight onto the Yale blue stone. I felt the weight on my heart as I feel it now, as I stare at the green couch that has amazingly made its way back into this suite after we gave it away sophomore year. And again, as I think about the adventures to come, the changes to come, I don't want to acknowledge the way I feel; I don't want to mourn the loss of the last four years.

 I wrote the words above as I was sitting in my common room on my very last day of college, rather, my first day of my post-undergraduate life. It was the day after graduation, and everything had been packed up, including my poor Alzheimer's-ridden computer that was trying so hard to boot up with a hard drive that kept deteriorating each time it did. I had spent the last night with friends, a celebratory drink at Rudy's, lying on the couch sprawled on top of one another, breaking the ceremonial clay pipes that marked the end of our Yale-hood. And yet, it didn't seem like it would be, could be enough. The trick behind graduation is that you're so busy with Baccalaureate, Class Day, Commencement, the ceremonies, the picture-taking, the standing, the sitting, the walking, and the cheering, that you don't have time to really say goodbye. Maybe it shouldn't be goodbye; after all, we'll probably, maybe, see each other again. But that way of life, the dining halls, awkward encounters at 3 AM in the bathroom, collective sympathetic sighs, are behind us now. Whatever we are, whatever we will become, we somehow became (if we weren't already) adults. And that's a scary prospect.

I can still remember the first time I walked on campus that summer, in the thick summer air, and I thought: "Wow, I could love this place." I remember moving in for the first time and thinking: "I wish the sky were clearer for my first day here," then when it got clearer, I remember redacting my statement. I remember meeting my first roommate for the first time, remember being only slightly disappointed that we wouldn't be BFFs, then finding those who really would be my best friends for life.

When I have a moment alone, I still find myself welling up a little. My heart still constricts and I don't want to just rush off into the summer yet. I don't want to let everything go, yet I don't want to keep remembering. If my poor laptop has taught me anything (besides backup, backup, backup) it's that memories don't last forever, and I don't want mine to go away. It's as if somehow, I can stop them from dissipating by keeping them in my brain-box forever. If I don't pull them out, they can't get ruined, right?

It's not that I'm not ready to move on. Well, maybe I'm holding back just a little. But can you blame me? Sentimentalist here! But I suppose I wouldn't want to be a sleep-deprived, anxiety-ridden, perpetually-hungry, food-driven being forever. Oh wait, I'm going to grad school.

Congratulations to everyone who has gone through the motions and crushed their proverbial (or literal) clay pipes. Good luck and may your futures hold everything you want them to (and some stuff that you don't know you want yet).

Cheers,
This Graduate
Jonathan Edward College
Yale Chemistry 2012

Brief Interlude

Today, I cut Kelsey's hair.

I also saw The Avengers. It was fantastic.

More to blog. More to come. Many, many stories to come.

SUBMITTED!

For the past month, and especially the past week or two, I have felt like this:

Today, at this moment, I feel like this:

THESIS: SUBMITTED.

BALUG Day 6: Is this a sign I should move to New York?

The internet in this Starbucks is super slow and as I'm waiting for my Reaxys page to load, I figure I might as well blog since I haven't in a while. (I do hope that BALUG: Blog A Lot Until Graduation doesn't turn into BALUG: Blog A Little Until Graduation...big cookie for the reference). The reason for the ridiculously slow nets, is probably because I'm on VPN here so I can get to Reaxys because oh hayy this Starbucks is on Broadway. WHAT. I'm in New York for the second-to-last of my grad school visits.

Now, I love visiting New York. Every once or twice a semester when Culture Draw comes along, I am ecstatic to come and spend the day in the Big Apple. I love the glam and the glitz of Broadway. I love Rockefeller Center. I love Central Park, the museums, and the art. I love the feeling fabulous as I walk down the street even when I know I'm not. But I've never thought I could live here. It's always been too tall, too gray and too dirty, too hot in the summer, to humid to bear, too fast, and too hectic. For me, it's always been a great place to visit, as long as I can get away at the end of the day. But being here the past couple of days may have gotten to me. The scary thing is, as I'm sitting in the window facing Times Square, sipping my Skinny Caramel Macchiato, I could see myself living here...if I weren't a chemist.

Don't get me wrong. Columbia was amazing. I loved the campus, what little there was, the professors, the students and the Upper West Side. But I have no illusions about my life if I were to live here. Perhaps, if I were writing my thesis, I would be able to come feed off the energy of this place, but by that time, I fear the novelty will have worn thin. If I were a writer, a designer, an artist, perhaps, the numerous juxtapositions that I see right in front of me could congeal into some sort of inspiring piece of work. At the same time, however, just this weekend, I have unwittingly ran into several friends who I haven't seen for a long time. I had breakfast with I.C., and just ran into K.C. when my computer ran out of batteries and I had to trade plug slots with someone. I didn't even know K was in the city until running into him which is craaazy. I also saw lots of nuns in sequins. Sparkly nuns. Only in Sister Act.

BALUG Day 1!

After much deliberation, I have decided to embark upon BALUG: Blog A Lot Until Graduation. It's after Spring Break now, during which time I visited San Diego, Boston, and Princeton, and it's been crazy just getting my sanity back together and getting enough rest to finish out the year. I realize that this will likely be the last spring break that I have (ever?!?) and it's been more hectic than usual. But what they (my mom) says is correct. As long as you're doing something different that your usual fare, it constitutes a well-deserved break. I think that was just her way of getting me to keep studying different subjects, but it's worked.

This Spring Break led me to play with stuff at the ScienCenter, revisit my high school anxieties, meet old friends, and make new ones. I have admittedly vegged out a bit when I should have been doing stuff like writing my thesis, but I feel like this semester, with all the traveling and having to be on top of my game when not traveling leads me to believe that I needed some serious veg time for myself.

Today, I am blogging during lunch time because I'm not sure how much time I'll have this afternoon. Going back into lab, setting up a couple of reactions, and having to actually do a lot of work. Oh boy! That is why, because of my time restraints and because of my workload coming to the end of the semester, I have decided to scrap BEDUG in favor of BALUG. I'm going to try to blog at least every other day, but if I am just too overwhelmed, I will have a little bit of leeway (for my own sanity). I'm going to try not to think about it, but there are only 63 days until graduation. Holy. Crap.

Back in Boston

It's a couple days into Spring Break and I'm back in Boston. It doesn't really feel like a break because usually, I would lounge for a few days at home, get my "doing nothing" on and feel ready to get back in the swing of things. But Kelsey (!) has been visiting so we've actually been doing things like exploring the Birch Aquarium at La Jolla (with Mom!), watching movies intended for a younger audience (The Lorax and The Muppets) with a slightly older eye, bumming around the California ScienCenter, which has an AWESOME exhibit on different ecosystems around the world (KELP FOREST! SO COOL!), chilling at the Third Street Promenade, and laughing at each other (and Michael!) attempt to do yoga and balancing games on Wii Fit. The few days that I stopped blogging has been good for me, as I have been living my life more than writing about it, and though I've ended each day tired and weary, it's been a happy time and totally worth it.

I'm back on the road now, spending three days (they say three, but half of the first and last day are spent traveling) in Boston, four in LA, three at Princeton, and then it's back to school already! I can't believe this is my last semester and yet I feel like I'm in and out of school so much that I already have one foot out the door. It's exciting to be able to visit all these places, and I know I'll probably never have this kind of opportunity again (unless I'm going on the faculty circuit), but at times like now, I just want to forgo the socializing, the bars, and all those questions and sit in my room, eat fruit, and watch 30 Rock.

That being said, this trip has been pretty straight forward. Delicious steak dinner + tiramisu. So good! And people have been very forthcoming which is always appreciated. Maybe it's because my Feb 8-10 visit was only my second visit so everything seemed so much more new and bright and exciting, and I have learned to take a more discerning eye at everything, but this visit seems so much more rushed. Tomorrow will be a long day so I'm going to sign off now. Goodnight!

Spring Break!

Yes! Blog Every Day Until SpringBreak has been a success! I have indeed blogged every night before going to sleep (some days it was at 1 AM but I feel that it still counts), through bouts of slim-to-none internet, and while traveling and exhausted. I am again, super tired because of travel, so I'll keep this post short, but in the past few days, I have had my last grad school interviews (whoo!), kayaked in the Pacific Ocean (which was amazing because of my awesome buddy, H.H., the sea lions, the dolphins, and the warm San Diego sun), wandered around the sleepy, laid back town of La Jolla, CA. I've also explored the aquarium and saw some awesome fish, sea horses and relatives, jellyfish, and mollusks.

I am again at home, about to go to sleep, and upon reflection, BEDUS has been great for me. I'll probably blog less during spring break as I get my bearings and get some rest, but afterwards, we'll see! Maybe I'll continue blogging until the graduation. BEDUG?

BEDUS Day 54: Last interview, No Bowling!

That is all. So, so tired.

BEDUS Day 53: It's Not Always Sunny in Philadelphia

And when it's not, like today, where you could see no more than 300 feet in front of you, the planes don't run on time. (Contrast with Phoenix where you could see for 10 miles). And when there's only one runway open in Philadelphia, planes from New Haven can be delayed for up to an hour causing a person who has only eaten half a granola bar and an apple for breakfast at 5:30 AM to have to run to Terminal C from Terminal F on an empty stomach. I mean, at the time I got off the plane at Philly, my next flight was already boarding. I made probably the best decision ever and took a minute to buy the first sandwich I saw to save my blood sugar from dropping any lower, and made it to the gate just as they were calling final boarding.

And then planes flying from Philadelphia can be delayed for 1/2 hour, making the next connection also dangerously close. Good thing the gate was only 2 down from the landing gate. I rewarded myself with some chili cheese fries, but because of the line still ended up getting to the gate just as they were calling my zone number.

But when I got to San Diego, it was all worth it. It was a beautiful day and because I had been traveling for 12 hours by this time, my grad school liaison suggested coffee, which we drank while strolling along the beach (a real beach!). It was such a relaxing way to come into Southern California that it is only in this moment, lying in bed typing with my thumbs on my phone as my roommate sleeps in the bed over, that I realize how tired I am. Excited for interviews tomorrow!

Goodnight!

BEDUS Day 52: Leap Day

It's February 29, a day that only exists once every four years (unless you're on the hundreth year, in which case it doesn't, except if you're on the four hundreth in which case it does). I'm not sure how many people actually know that every hundreth year is actually not a leap year because the last hundreth year we had was 2000, which was a leap year because it is divisible by 400. And the one we had before that was 1900 and hardly anyone alive remembers that. I'm sure it will be mighty confusing in the year 2100 when, having had a leap year once every four years for 200 years, you suddenly don't have one. What the what?

So it's February 29 and that means that much of America is partying it up (if what I'm led to believe is actually true), because *note: 30 Rock reference ahead* nothing that happens on Leap Day counts. Real life is for March. Except, I'm probably going to be packing and cleaning and waiting for March 1 when I get on a plane and book it to San Diego.

What does this "extra day" mean for me? It's just another day, where I got to look at some really old coins, hefted them about a bit, and cleaned my room.

Happy End of February Everyone. March, here I come!

BEDUS Day 51: TV Shows

I admit it. I like a lot of TV. I used to watch a lot of TV, while doing homework, on weekends, etc, but recently, I haven't had time to catch up. It doesn't hurt that many of my staples are only half-hour sitcoms, but with all the traveling and scrambling to finish work, it's been hard. However, as I was cleaning my room today, I had the spring season of White Collar on and very much appreciated the light-heartedness it brought to my otherwise empty but cluttered room. I can't believe that tomorrow, I'll be packing my bags again. It's that kind of life.

Peace and cookies.

Also, I melted my chapstick in the dryer. Sighs.

BEDUS Day 50: 50 Days!

Blogging for 50 days. Dang I need a break. I think my stomach thinks so too because I've been having stomach pains, making it hard for me to sleep which is why I'm still up. Watching 30 Rock. And trying to sleep. No no no no don't do this to me now!

BEDUS Day 49: Oh my Blog

Yup, was about to go to sleep; then I remembered that I hadn't blogged. Well the most exciting thing that happened was I finished my project and got some Thai food. Goodnight!

BEDUS Day 48: Drawing in Paint

I don't draw well with a mouse. We've established that quite a while ago, but I keep forgetting. After all the struggles of trying to get Hana's tablet to work on the school computers so I could play around with Photoshop, I decided just to suck it up and draw in Paint. It's actually working pretty well and my drawing looks surprisingly Babar-derived. I've done most of the detail work already; I just have to cover the large spaces, which is a bit tedious. It's been fun, drawing and being creative again. :)

Also, Day 48! What the heck. That means I've been blogging almost 7 weeks straight!

BEDUS Day 47: Last Friday Night

It's the last Friday night of BEDUS! Spring Break begins next Friday at 5:00 PM, and by then, I'll be in California. Likely as not, I'll continue blogging because it's a great exercise, but I probably take a break during Spring Break unless something exciting happens or I happen to be in an insightful mood. Hahah.

I am in great need of a break. Being back for a straight week is great, but because I haven't really had a weekend for a while, it's been tough on the psyche. Generally, I've found that I need one day a week to decompress and I can go for 6 days without too much trouble. The one day generally ends up being Saturday, but tomorrow, I'm going into lab for a little while at least and then I have projects to work on, reading to do, etc. Not complaining other than the fact that my experiments don't seem to want to work out. Booo. >.<

In general, I've been having a great time this semester. I've been super busy, but at the same time, it's been very exciting.  Blog ya later!

BEDUS Day 46: Nilla Wafers

Nilla Wafers are delicious.

I also enjoy the red-colored Vitamin Waters (Power C, XXX, doesn't matter).

I do not enjoy vegetable juice + berries. No no no.

I do enjoy salted cashews.

These are some things I ate tonight. Well, I sniffed at the vegetable juice and found it too carroty for me.

I also enjoy yogurt. But that's for breakfast.

Yum!

BEDUS Day 45: Eating and Dancing

And Labbing! My experiment did not seem to be a success. Hmmm...gonna have to try again. In other news, I made it to the Etiquette Dinner tonight (basically a four-course meal with background talk about how to act at business meal interviews). Notable quotes include "It's not about the food!" and "Just don't do it!" It was actually great though and I enjoyed the commentary. He was hilarious. :)

After all that food, I just had to dance a bit so I choreographed. I enjoy Wednesday nights because they're less stressful, and I get to choreograph for long periods of time (which is really what I need).

Oh I also got to see Yale's Bird collection today. It was awesome! There are some birds with super funky tail feathers and we even got to see penguins! (smelly!)

Short vlog.

Tired. Boo. But lots of experiences today.

BEDUS Day 44: One more week!

I belatedly realized that BEDUS is soon coming to an end. Spring Break begins next Friday, so that's only 10 more days of BEDUS. It's been crazy blogging every day and it's been difficult, especially when the time hits and it's already 11:58 and I have to scramble for something to say. Although my life as of late has been rather glamorous (jet setting to a different city every couple of days), it's been nice to just sit on the couch and sketch concepts for my creative project. I've been drawing elephants today, mostly, and it's been a good time.

I've also dramatically increased my productivity in lab and will probably be there every day until Spring Break. We'll see how that goes. :)

I could write lots of things about today. I ate a bowl of cereal and two slices of raisin bread for breakfast, a Caprese sandwich and freshly squeezed orange juice for lunch, and cornmeal crusted catfish for dinner. I went to the post office, worked up and started a reaction, made a plan, flung some ribbons, and drew some elephants wearing masks. I had dinner with my former roommate, took a shower, and watched some 30 Rock. And now I'm curled up on the couch with my Chemists do it Periodically t-shirt and JE sweatpants feeling warm and cozy. I'm ready for the next week. So bring it on.

BEDUS Day 43: Babar!

Today, Kelsey and I read 6 books of Babar aloud. It was like traveling back to a childhood that I never knew because surprise, I only knew Babar peripherally, through my cousin's videotapes. The image of Babar, however, is iconic, and has stuck in my mind since I was very young. He's probably the reason I think that elephants are cute and benevolent. I don't remember much else, but after reading the books, I can see why they would be popular with children.

They're filled with action, adventure, conflict, and resolution. There is excitement and danger, but also happy endings. The good guys, with their strength and cunning, always win and the skies are sunny, the waters cool and refreshing. Taken at face value, it's a great series of books. Of course, there are those who disagree with the underlying principles (colonialism, etc.) but I found it a nice throwback to childhood.

Basically, I love this class.

BEDUS Day 42: Recovery

I have spent most of today sleeping. Well, sleeping and recruiting. The YES Poster session went pretty well, and I got a lunch bag and my poster out of the deal, so it seemed pretty great, but other than that, I've been catching up on my sleep. I basically passed out when I got back last night, then got up, went to the poster session, passed out again when I came back and have been in a daze since dinner. I think my body and my mind has been stressed out so it's time for super recovery. Getting back into lab tomorrow, so we'll make a plan there, but it seems like I'm just waiting for Spring Break. Bahh.

No real revelations today other than the fact that I need more sleep.

Goodnight.

BEDUS Day 41: A Beautiful View

I am so exhausted. I basically slept all the way home (although I did finish The Hunger Games which was freaking awesome and made me so mad at the way it ended! Dangit going to have to go find Catching Fire when I have time even though my next book for fun really should be The Fault in Our Stars. Fun sidenote: I had just finished watching Hank Green's newest video on Smallest Animals at Philadelphia Airport waiting for my plane and I looked up and the girl sitting across from me was reading TFiOS. Woah.) Now I'm back, took a shower, and am going to pass out. Gotta present a poster tomorrow.

I'll probably edit this at some point with the view from the Hancock Tower (95th floor!) where we ate breakfast this morning. We got to see so much of the city and Lake Michigan that it was kinda breathtaking. Sure, the city was a city; dirty roofs, brown buildings, tiny cars, but there was something so surreal about being up there and seeing it from above. The feats of engineering, science, art, and culture, all wrapped up into one glorious town.

BEDUS Day 40: Second City

Today was a little grueling. Even without the pressures of interviews, talking with faculty still makes me nervous. I know it shouldn't, but  I can't shake the fact that I look young (am young!) and even though people shouldn't find me particularly threatening (intellectually), they're talking as if I understand everything they're saying. I am conversing with rock stars of the chemistry world, nodding and smiling, and it's working.

Actually though, the science was really quite amazing and even though I was hanging on by just the tail of the kite most of the time (that's not really a phrase, is it?) I felt like I knew just enough random knowledge to get through a lot of the science. It's kinda how I felt throughout most of Science Bowl, knowing just enough stuff gathered from different sources to make myself look more intelligent than I was. It's funny because I just feel like I'm forever behind, but I'm apparently not. I wonder what it's going to be like when I start teaching. Oh My Galapagos.

We went to The Second City tonight, a comedy club in downtown Chicago, which was really great. I got a mug that came with my drink, which is at present, stuffed in my boot in my suitcase, my tiny suitcase. Golly.

The skits were funny, laugh out loud funny, and the improv was great, but, maybe due to my week of fatigue, it wasn't the funniest thing I've ever seen. However, it was a great time and some of the skits they did were pretty poignant. However, they did this thing where they tried to connect the end with the beginning and kinda failed a bit. [Flashback to Seat Yourself. Oh My Galoshes] But I had a fun time and I'm really glad I went.

BEDUS Day 39: THIS DAY! (Spoilers...no spoilers)

This day has been an absolute adventure. Ups and downs, whirls, whorls, and all over the place. It started off like any other day where I plan to fly to Chicago. You know, because I do it all the time. But I'm kinda stressing because I went to sleep late having done laundry and finished my poster rather late and woke up (or rather, tried to blink and found my eyelids were too heavy) a little later than I had planned, and wound up being a smidge concerned that I was going to be late for my plane. Even though Tweed-New Haven is like...20 minutes away. And it's so small that they don't even open security until they're practically ready to board the plane.

But anyways, I'm rushing (when I don't need to be), I call the cab, and they say they'll be right there. Before I can ask them how long they'll take, they hang up, so I assume (correctly) that they'll be right there. So, I grab my bag, my trusty green suitcase, my coat, and hightail it out of there.

In the mix, I don't realize that I hadn't changed my shoes and was still wearing my Uggs, which are wonderfully warm and comfy for a running around the dorm, going to class, snuggling up in a big chair in the library way, but not in a meet some famous chemists way. It's only when I'm going through security, as I see the woman in front of me taking off some super cute (but uncomfortable looking) boots, that I notice that my feet are still quite warm and happy in Fluffyland. Oh. No.

Now, it's not the end of the world, but it seemed pretty disrespectful to me to show up to a recruitment in what basically amounts to pajama shoes (and some well-placed calls confirmed that notion) so I figure, hey, I'm getting to Chicago at around 3:15. I should have enough time before 6 PM to go buy myself a cheap pair of shoes (likely flats) that will get me through tomorrow.

I board the plane to Philadelphia, fall asleep, everything is hunky-dory (even though inside I'm still a little like ahhh only have 30 minutes to cross terminals and get lunch good thing I brought a bagel).

I get to my gate fine and they start asking people to volunteer to check their bags at the gate because there won't be any overhead space. Which I think is bull because the plane is built so that 3 overhead bags can fit per 3 seated row and if everyone has one under-the-seat bag and one overhead bag, then everyone's bag should be able to fit, but I guess they accounted for people having coats in the winter or something like that. But I hang on to my bag because it has my laptop in it and I kinda want it with me.

Except I'm in Zone 5, which means by the time to get to my zone, anyone who's got a second bag has got to get it checked. So I take out my laptop and send my trusty green bag on its way. And when I land in Chicago, and get my bag, it's no longer trusty, but lame. Like actually, missing a wheel. The plastic around the wheel has freaking BROKEN OFF. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?!? (Also, the guy next to me had half of the handle on his rolly bag broken off. WTF US AIRWAYS?!?) 

So yeah, after fuming for about 3 seconds and swearing to myself that I was never checking any electronics with US Airways again, I realized that I had to get another bag and soon because I was only Visit #4 of 8 and, well, it's my only carry-on bag. I drag my poor bag to the US Airways Baggage Claim Office and am like: LOOK AT THIS. What I really said was more along the lines of "Ummm...hi. I checked my bag at the gate, even though (by the way this is important) there was plenty of room in the overhead compartments when they said there wasn't going to be, and they mutilated my only way of getting my three outfits and bunch of cords around." Yeah, I didn't really say that either but I thought it.

The lady, who was very nice, said, "Oh I'm so sorry! It sucks when that happens." (Like it happens often!?)

Me: "Is there anywhere I could get a new bag? Because, well, I'm only visiting for a few days and I kinda need it."

Her: "Oh, we can just get you a new one."

!!! BEST PERSON !!!

So they gave me a new bag, which is a little smaller than my old one was (although today, I recognize that they generally make the carry-on bags smaller, so it didn't bother me too much). And it was brand new. And all of my stuff fit, and now I have a new trusty green bag.

Things work out! Now to make sure it'll fit everything I need it to for spring break. Probs going to take my backpack home for that one.

So shoes. I finally get to the hotel and get settled at 5 PM (after all the fiasco with bag and the horrible traffic over), and I got to go get set to get some shoes. Luckily, we're right on the Miracle Mile, which is where all the shopping is. Unfortunately, everything is a bajillion dollars since they have labels like GAP and Guess and Ann Taylor and Aldo, and the Forever 21 shoes were janky, but I found a Marshalls basically across the street from the hotel. They had a bunch of heeled booties which were too high (dang it, Fergie!), but I found a pair of calf-high wedged boots that seemed to fit alright. I didn't really want to walk all around Chicago in heels, but wedges seemed ok and they were dark brown and didn't look like I had just rolled out of bed and slipped them on. I found a pair in my size but the zipper on the left boot didn't want to come undone, so, noticing it was already 5:40, I grabbed the display box and low and behold, it was a pair of very similar flat boots with some cooler buckle details. And only $25. Holy crap.

Normally, I would probably think that these boots emphasized my calves a little too much and made me look a little stumpier than normal, but for an on-the-fly purchase where no one would really notice my normal shoes anyways, I though it was a pretty good deal. Plus, they were easy to slip on because of the huge calf factor and easy to walk in. And then I ran back to the hotel, changed very quickly, and booked it to the bus. And made it. And my feet are happy. I'm going to count this as a win.

So more reflections on Chicago as a whole later (spoilers: it's a beautiful city, and the campus looks beautiful illuminated at night and the science is pretty cool) but I'm exhausted from all of the above so I'm just going to shower and sleep. Good night!

Oh! I've also been reading The Hunger Games! I'm about halfway through the first book and enjoying the story and the strong female character. The writing is pretty pulpy but there's a big emphasis on color and food, both things I enjoy. I wouldn't say it's a holy grail book but it's good for a plane ride, so I'll likely abandon most of my other readings for it. We'll see how I feel once I finish it. Ok byes for reals!

BEDUS Day 38: Back for a Night

I get to sleep in my own bed for a night and then I'm off to Chicago for 3 days. Well, it's really only 1 full day and dinner and breakfast. Which reminds me: I should probably get myself some lunch at some point tomorrow. Hmm...planning fail.

My post New York reflections reveal that traveling is hard, even when traveling only 2 hours away by train. It may be that I was working on my poster all during the train ride over and really got no respite. I was back for all of 1.5 days and most of that was spent finishing a midterm and frantically reading stuff. I'm not complaining about the traveling; after all, I get to see great institutions and meet wonderful people, but in hindsight (maybe even in foresight), the whole getting on three sets of moving vehicles in a week was probably not the most enlightened of choices.

I'm excited about going to Chicago because it's my first real visit; I've been interviewing everywhere else so there's always a sense of urgency and stress. After all, although you're interviewing the institution, you're not really are you? They're still interviewing you and ultimately, you're not in yet, so you'd better look sharp. With a visit, I can only assume it'll be different, that people will be more in "recruit" mode so things will be less tense. One can only hope.

Well, tomorrow, off on the plane. Looking forward to the Windy City.

BEDUS Day 37: Terrifying Ursine Friends (or Happy Valentine's Day from New York)

There are those people who say that Valentine's Day is a holiday for overeager consumers and money-hungry corporations to consummate their marriage of convenience through the distribution of anatomically incorrect hearts, dopamine-inducing pellets of sugar, and plushy versions of our actually quite terrifying ursine friends. They say that true love does not need a day to acknowledge its nature, that you should shower your significant others (and...less significant others?) with affection every day of the year.

And they're absolutely right.

But that doesn't mean we shouldn't celebrate love on this day right, because, we should celebrate love every day. And on today, when I was eating a sushi with names like Sweetheart Roll, Sex on the Beach Roll, and Iron Chef Roll, with people I didn't know, I had a moment of intense longing for my sweetheart, and I wished that he could be with me to laugh at the Iron Chef Roll, or the creme brulee that actually turned out to be ice cream or the ridiculously awesome Rockefeller University apartment.

Don't get me wrong; the day was fun, and on any other day I might have just let it go, but looking at my heart-shaped tuna and knowing that 83 miles away, my best friend was not looking at my heart-shaped tuna gave me pause. So before I go to sleep in this intensely hot hotel room, I give you this, my darling. Words cannot say how much you mean to me and how much I miss you at this moment. You've given me so very many happy moments (including tonight!) and I can't wait to see you tomorrow, to hear your voice, and to give you a big hug. So I'll let these grainy pictures do the talking for me.

BEDUS Day 36: For Reals This Time

Ok no more cop-out lame blogs. At least, this one won't be because I'm finally settled back in and have finished my midterm and all I have left is...oh wait, I leave for New York tomorrow morning and I've got to make a poster by Thursday and I've got several books to read. Oh. The life is never done. :)

From the two interview weekends I've had, I can say this: interviewing is exhausting. You've got to have your brain in the right place 100% of the time and your cool face on 100% of the time. It's super interesting to get away from school and see the cool science that's being done out there and the people who are doing it, but it's not a vacation. You're not there to sight-see. It's "figure-out-your-life" time.

The New York interview will be number 3 of 4, and the rest are all visits, which are definitely more like professional vacations, but at the same time, also like business meetings. What is cool is that I'll be seeing the same people on my trips, kinda the Chemistry/Biology circuit, which is super exciting. It's also exciting when you meet people who know the same people as you. Craaazy.

I can't believe it's already mid-February and BEDUS is more than half over. It's been a whirlwind of a semester for sure and I'm excited to have some time to look back at my days and see what I was thinking. It's been really good for me to put something out every day (even when technically, it's the next day), just to capture my frame of mind. And my frame of mind is now this: I've showered, am snuggly in bed, and am going to catch some Once Upon a Time before going to sleep. Leaving in the morning! :D

BEDUS Day 35: Still Counts

Kelsey's Belated Birthday Party
Ate at BAR: Meatballs, Sundried Tomatoes, Mozzarella
Had Cake with Friends who Hid Well
Had Cava (Spanish Champagne)
Talked with Max, Kiara, Chelsea; Fun Times
Freaking Stuck on Midterm
GAH.

BEDUS Day 34: 1:33 AM

It's been a long day. I got back to my room at 1:15 AM and it was a much more relaxed day but more of a walking day than the day before. I have a bunch of thoughts in my mind that are all jumbled up and I've written them down on paper, but in short: I've been impressed. I love the students, love the professors, love J and S and really bonded with my fellow interviewees. I'm going to miss these people when I go back to school, but I also am excited to see my friends at school and Kelsey again and more excited about my prospective future.

Getting up in a few hours so time to get ready for bed.

Will philosophize more to myself later.

BEDUS Day 33: Decompression

Another round of
Interviews. Afterwards I
Decompressed myself.

It's not that I was
Nervous or anything. But
I was. (a little)

Met people I have
Held in esteem. Also those
I know will go far.

Body needs rest, again.
Tomorrow touring, snowing.
Hope my feet stay warm.

BEDUS Day 32: The Most Massive Bed

I'm in Cambridge now, took the Amtrak down, and am currently residing in a room with the most massive hotel bed ever. It's nice having my own room so I have a little bit of freedom as to when to wake up and go to sleep and don't have to be worried about the schedule of another person, especially during interview season, but I realize that having a roommate also keeps me on track. I've been rather leisurely reading about the research being done here (which is insanely cool, oh my goodness) and now, it's suddenly 11:30 and way past the time I should have gone to sleep.

The trip down was nice. I've never taken Amtrak before, and it was...a train with better seats. I would have taken some pictures or something but I ended up in the "quiet car" and it was super awkward to take out my camera when the woman next to me was sleeping. Alas.

I also had a great dinner, which I'm sure I will not remember after this night so I will note it here. There was meat. It was stacked like a jenga puzzle. And blue cheese. And arugula. (You see how tired I am right now). The jenga meat was really good. As was the cheese. (Love me some cheese.)

Alright, to bed, to bed, then to tomorrow!

BEDUS Day 31: Wine, Violas, and Pianos

Today was an absolutely amazing day. Not only did I get to visit Yale's musical instruments collection, I got to have a wonderful dinner while learning about food and wine pairings. So one at a time.

For this week's Treasures at Yale class, we went to the Yale Musical Instruments Collection, which is a little known collection that has it's own home. I've walked by this building many, many times and have always wanted to go in, but I've never had the time (it's only open from 1-4 PM on Tues-Fri and 1-5 PM on Sun). I've been very curious to know what's inside, especially because the Yale Concert Band played a concert with a hecklephone (basically a bass oboe), of which there are only 3 functioning ones in the United States. 

So, I was really excited to go see the instruments. And it was so worth it. Being a string player myself, I was super excited to see the strings. We saw a piccolo cello, so named because it played the higher registers of the cello that weren't accessible to musicians who didn't play higher than third position on the cello, that had a flat back and a lion's head scroll. We also saw (and got to hold) a Stradivarius that had never been revarnished (freaking awesome) and got to see a Viola D'Amore. This so-called "viola of love" had blind cupid inscribed on the scroll, flame holes, seven bowed strings, and seven sympathetic strings which vibrated below the fingerboard.  It was thought that the viola originated from the Middle East and what we call flame holes today were actually reminiscent of Islamic swords. Awesome. We also got to see and hear a piano, harpsichord, and clavichord, which never get removed from the upstairs of the collection.

Finally, at night, I was privileged to be a part of the Yale Reality Bites series, a food series that's dedicated to teaching seniors about food after college. I probably won't be able to afford the likes of the food and wine we ate until long after I graduate, but it was a really nice dinner that taught me a lot about the nuances of wine and the changing flavors that food brings out in wine. We had five wines...

...a Cabernet, a Pinot Noir, a Chardonnay, a Sauvignon Blanc (my favorite), and a Cava (a Spanish bubbly wine). We tried each on its own, then each with a four course dinner consisting of an arugula, pear, and walnut salad with gorgonzola cream on the side, striped bass on a bed of the most delicious white beans I have ever eaten, chicken in a tomato sauce with a crust of toasted and salted bread (so good!), and a spicy lamb stew. It was, in a word, delicious, and in another word, delectable. Also, there was a raffle and I won a bottle of the Cava! Saving it for Kelsey's birthday/Valentine's day!!

That's all for tonight. Tomorrow I go to Boston!

BEDUS Day 30: More Work

I was afraid these days would come: the days where I am so busy that I barely have time to write. As evidenced by my last blog (and this one too) I have been reading and thinking and searching and reading and thinking and I am pooped. I will read and think more tomorrow.

*Short blog*

Goodnight.

BEDUS Day 29: Late Night Thinking

I am up late night thinking about how to make complex molecules. With coffee. See you later.

BEDUS Day 28: Time Travel!

I haven't done anything very exciting today, and I'm not feeling terribly creative or poetic at the moment, so I thought I'd just freewrite until I have enough text to justify a blog. A lot of times when I was younger, I'd dream about going to sleep and waking up in another century or another time and place where I could have adventures like those kids I read about in books (Magic Treehouse!). And just now, I thought, once again, that that would be a great adventure. Right? If I could just have an adventure and come out of it, back to where I am right now, so that no time has passed at all, that would just be awesome. I'd have to take a friend, of course; otherwise, I'd have no one to blab to afterwards without seeming like a total lunatic.

The issue always arises, however, when I imagine where I'd go. The kids I read about where mostly of some kind of European descent because that's what you get for reading young adult American literature, and so whenever I imagine myself on one of their journeys in history, I'd suddenly realize that even without the modern clothes and out-of-place gadgets, I wouldn't be able to blend in because of my skin color. Even if everyone spoke modern English, I wouldn't be able to effectively complete my quest without probably being thrown into slavery or beheaded for looking odd. If I arrived in America before...I'd say the 1970s, no one would talk to me, from being too mellow, or from a racist streak left over from the Second World War. Thus, I couldn't travel anywhere outside of East Asia which would limit the friends I could take and the conversations we could have with people. In the end, I decided that the here and now is probably the best place for me. It's kind of a weird thought, I know, but I realize that these considerations are especially true even now. Having traveled to Greece and Italy, I realize that I don't fit in, and really wouldn't in the past. *Feeling quite lucky to be living in this century.*

See you tomorrow!

BEDUS Day 27: My First Hockey Game! (or "It's All Your Fault!")

For several years now, I've been aiming to go to Yale hockey game because it's the one sport (apparently besides volleyball) that we're pretty good at. Whenever I give tours, I tell people to go to hockey games because the atmosphere is supposed to be electric, and yet, it's taken me four years to get here. This may be that the Whale (Ingalls Rink) is halfway up Science Hill, though in reality, it's actually relatively close to campus, or it may be that every time I've gone to a sporting event, we've lost (sometimes quite horribly in fact).

But this night was absolutely awesome. We played Clarkson and won 5-1, and although for the most part, the team looked like they were just very haphazardly searching for the puck, there were shining moments of great teamwork and subsequent goals. From what I saw, we just happened to have a better goalie than Clarkson did, as there were some tense moments where they got quite close to scoring, but our guy prevailed.

I also realized that sports fans are rabid. They don't just cheer for our team; they boo down the other team, and demoralizing the opposition is as much a winning strategy as playing well. In hockey, the idea is to make the other goalie feel every goal he's let through. So the band would play our fight song and they'd chant to the other guy, "It's all your fault!" Poor goalie! One older alum even came a little late to the game, sat behind us with his friends, and after a few minutes, noted to his friend, "I want us to score so I can tell him whose fault it is."

So even though I was ecstatic every time we scored, I couldn't help but feel bad for this other goalie, who seemed pretty frustrated by the start of the third quarter.

BEDUS Day 26: Sandra Bullock is Badass

It's been a bit of a chill Friday for me. I feel like I've not done much today even though I've actually been quite productive today. The most exciting part of my night was when we watched Miss Congeniality, in which FBI agent Grace Hart puts on a dress and becomes a beauty pageant contestant. I haven't watched it in a long time, but it's just as funny as I remember, just as charming, and just as badass. It's probably one of my favorite comedies of all time, just a good-hearted, funny movie.

Even though Miss Congeniality was a generally mindless movie, we had a great discussion afterwards about the dilemma looking for classes to take outside your major/interests for distributional requirements, and the way that the education system worked in general. In fact, even as I am blogging right now, we're still conversing which is why this blog is going up so late. I think I will reflect more tomorrow and continue with these conversations.

See you later!

BEDUS Day 25: Happy Groundhog's Day

Groundhog's Day is a funny phenomenon and something you don't really think about after elementary school. Back in the first grade, it was such a big deal; we colored pictures of groundhogs and made shadows and everything and today, I think a lot of us just forget that February 2 is still a holiday (albeit a nonsensical one).

This Groundhog's Day, Phil predicted that there would be six more weeks of winter, but to be honest (no jinx!) it hasn't felt like winter here in a while. It was so nice and warm today and I feel very lucky to be in New Haven right now. Boston and Chicago are getting hit quite a bit harder and although I will be traveling there next week, I'm relishing the above 40 weather these days.

At the moment, I feel a great sense of camaraderie with my suitemates. We spent the past couple of hours looking up pictures of attractive men and baby animals and although it was probably not the best use of my time, it was a nice break from the past couple of days and a bit of a refresher. I'm constantly reminded that I'm getting older and acting like a teenager without responsibilities has always given me a bit of a breather that I miss when having intellectual conversations with those around me. Having been predominantly surrounded by boys for much of my life (boys who I still love dearly), I never really had too many close girlfriends to slumber party and gossip with and have never seen someone bash Eva Mendez so hard for dating Ryan Gosling ("she's so dumb, he has to explain things to her!" hahaha) It's nice to be able to hang out with the ladies, especially in an environment where intellect is probably one of the most prized attributes in a significant other (at least for me) and just be cathartically superficial for a few moments. [[Every feminist woman I've ever known is cringing at this statement, but I don't care.]]

So I will end this blog here and go listen to some music and read some Little Women before going to sleep. I forgot how wholesome the book was, and after what we made Piyumi's desktop background, I think I need some wholesome in my life.

BEDUS Day 24: Happy February!

I can't believe I've been blogging straight for more than 3 weeks now. More than that, it's a little insane that we're ALREADY A MONTH INTO 2012!! And not even one of those 30 day-months. It's been a whole 31 (and I guess by the time this post goes up, 32) days since the new year began. The time does go by so quickly, especially with travel eating up the last couple of days.

I had a lot of class today and since it's Wednesday, it's once again, Treasures of Yale day. We looked at the Charles Ives collection in the Music Library today, and I have to say that because I am a very melody and lyric-driven person, Charles Ives' music doesn't really appeal to me. Kelsey's band director loves him, but I'm not a huge fan. However, I do appreciate the meaning behind his music. As we said in class, it's definitely music that needs explanation; it's definitely not universally wonderful. Two really cool things that we got to see was an original piano sonata that Brahms had written for Clara Schumann and one of Mozart's hymns. Freaking awesome.

I also began choreographing my pieces for the Phoenix Spring Show today. Super excited. It's always nice to be able to put creative energy into something. I'm actually excited for rehearsal tomorrow. Whoo!

BEDUS Day 23: Reflections from a Computer

Being away these past couple days has made me realize that I could do with a vacation. Not that going to SF was a vacation by any means, but it was 3 days without a computer, where the little time I actually had to go on the internet was spent checking, and not being able to comfortably reply to, emails on the tiny screen of my phone. Which was no fun. So I didn't do it very often. And I felt very liberated.

I came out of SF very exhausted. It's no fun (well, a little exciting, but you can't really call it "fun") having to wake up before some of your colleagues go to sleep to make flights, having to be 110% alert in a time zone that is not your own, and having to ask questions on topics you've only peripherally encountered and answer questions you haven't ever really thought about. It was a great experience, though, and now that I've recuperated a little, I can say that I've learned a lot from the multiple-interview day and have gotten to know some great people.

In addition, the accommodations were fantastic. We stayed at the Sir Francis Drake hotel, complete with a man dressed as Drake himself tagging our luggage to be brought up to our rooms and a giant red statue of the honorary knight/pirate in the lobby flanked by various colored liqueurs. The style seemed pretty Elizabethan with a modern twist and I rather enjoyed the details.

For the most part, I've come out of my trip eager to learn more science and excited for graduate school wherever I go; I just wish I would have gotten more time to explore the city. I think San Francisco is a really cool city and I've never spent enough time there to really be satisfied. I'm still finding out new things about Los Angeles, even though I've lived there for most of my life, and I know there will always be things to explore, but I feel like most every time I go to SF, I'm only there for a few days, most of which is tied up in whatever activity brought me there in the first place. SF is a very culturally rich city and since I'm a big art fan, I'd just like to walk around more (on second thought, maybe just the flat parts...)

Point being: I need a vacation.

BEDUS Day 22: A blog in haikus

Interviews over.
They asked some tricky questions.
Body exhausted.

All day, brain at max.
Want to explore SF more.
But now brain at zero.

At 7:15
Flight back to school taking off
Get up in six hours.

Phone still only source
Of Internet. More thoughts when
I can think again.

In general, great
First experience. Reflections
Tomorrow. Good night.

BEDUS Day 21: How Strawberries Make You Fat

Spoiler Alert: It's the pesticides.

I'm in San Francisco and whenever I'm here, I remember why, despite the overcast skies and stop and go traffic, I really do find this city fascinating. For one, the people are incredibly laid back for being caught in such traffic all the time and more than that, the buildings are so unique. Only here have I ever seen so many different colored houses all in a row, in a way that doesn't scream out of place. In addition, there's an old-worldly feel about the city, especially in the hotel I'm staying at, the Sir Francis Drake hotel.

Tomorrow's a long day and, as I don't have Internet here in the hotel, and my thumbs are aching from typing on my phone, I'll cut this entry short. More reflections later. Time to study.

BEDUS Day 20: Jet Planes

In 9 hours, I will be on a plane to San Francisco. I've felt weird the entire semester, as if I have already left school because this is not a thing I do. By thing, I mean travel outside of campus, struggle with packing light enough for a 3-day trip, clean my room...

But this is the first of 9 trips I'm making this semester around the country and I'm both excited and nervous. I don't quite know what to expect, and it's kind of important that I keep my wits about me because whatever decision I make is going to impact the next 4-5 years/the rest of my life. Oh...the pressure.

So at 3:30 AM, Kelsey's going to bring me to the airport.

The nerves are hitting about now.

Time to LOOK UP PAPERS.

ADLKFJA;OITPAP

BEDUS Day 19: Vaudeville and Dinosaurs

Forgive the language here, but I am super tired. It's been a long week, I'm kinda stressing out about interviews and classes and the future in general, and I'm glad that for once (probably the only time ever) I was able to come out of the Cabaret feeling like there was hope and humor in humanity.

Usually, Cabaret plays are done by drama students who like to focus on the macabre or the darker side of human nature, the lost, the lonely, and the depraved. I've seen plays where everyone dies, where many are killed, where the dead come back to life, and where the found become lost and the lost remain lost. Today, however, we explored the psyche of a man who expressed himself in his childhood room through the quintessential American entertainment of vaudeville. He sang Kermit's song about rainbows through a typewriter puppet, lip synced to a song where the singers couldn't dance, had and ended an affair with an inflatable dolphin, made fire with a fan and tissue paper shavings, and led us on a journey through the stars and planets, to Dinosaur Farm planet, among others. It was laugh-out-loud funny while still suggesting something deeper about the way that this balding man was still reliving his childhood, performance by performance. The stage was set up in a way I had never seen before, in a very traditional actor on one side, audience on the other setup (usually, it's done in a round, I think, but then, the actors have never had to move so far horizontally before).

All in all, it's been a rough week, with bursts of wonderful. Cabaret was one today. Having dinner and drinks with my best friends tonight was another. I miss having them around all the time and living in different suites just isn't the same.

Tomorrow, cleaning, reading, and packing for San Francisco. EXCITED.

BEDUS Day 18: Now That I'm On a Syllabus...

Freshman year, I took an English class called "Reading and Writing the Modern Essay." I wasn't particularly interested in taking any English classes before I got to college because I had been slightly brainwashed by the overwhelming opposition to language classes in Science Bowl. This was actually contradictory to many of the things that I had believed about myself prior to joining the group, including the fact that I was going to become either a journalist or a writer. Anyway, because of this serious harping on how the humanities were destroying the integrity of the world, I elected to shop classes outside the English department. And then people started emailing me (the only time, I might add, which led to much grief later) about preregistering for English classes and, after reading many, many, overwhelmingly positive reviews, I decided to go for it (though I was slightly wary about the types of people who might be giving positive reviews to these sorts of classes).

I didn't get my first choice, or should I say, I didn't get what I thought at the time should be my first choice. I say this because after our first class, I was sold on my professor's quirky wit and tendency to treat rules as guidelines. Andrew's rules were more like Olympic gymnasts, or Gumby: supremely bendy. And though the name "Reading and Writing the Modern Essay" sounds like the most pedantic class you'll ever take, it has remained, four years later, the class that has changed my elective learning trajectory. I was also sold when, as a treat for our first workshop day, he brought lunch. For everyone. Yeah. Pretty much awesome.

So this morning, when I wake up to the dreariest of skies with the foul taste of dry in my mouth, my email bings and oh hey, I'm on Andrew's syllabus for his section this semester. WHAT?!?

Readings (all in the course packet, except as noted): 

 Atwood, excerpt from “Writing the Male Character”

 Scott Russell Sanders, “Father Within”

Jonathan Ames, “Ron Gospodarski”

 Auster, “Portrait of an Invisible Man”  (pp. 3-60 of Collected Prose)

Lukeman, A Dash of Style, ch. 4: “The Colon (The Magician)”

 Bök, Eunoia, cont.

Orwell, “Why I Write” (in Facing Unpleasant Facts)

Edgar Allan Poe, “The Raven”

Edgar Allan Poe, excerpt from “The Philosophy of Composition”

Angela She (JE ’12; Engl 120 F08), “Portrait of a Man in a Tan Coat” <-- LOOK IT'S ME!!!

Hody Nemes (SY ’13; Engl 120 F10), “A Cartoon of a Man”

 E-Lynn Yap (TD ’14; Engl 120 S11), “First Impressions”

HeyO. That's surreal. I wonder if professors who assign themselves as reading get the same surreal feeling that I'm getting right now. The only thing left to do is to go find this course packet and like...nuzzle it or something.

BEDUS Day 17: Maps

The week is only half over, but it feels like it's been two weeks, or three! In reality, I haven't done too much this week, right? Let's see: had a total of 4 class sessions and only 1 dance rehearsal. Granted, I've read a good lot of pages this week and, oh yeah, 7 hours in lab so far. It feels like it's been a full week. My body is tired and I am still waiting for stuff to rotovap down. Ohhhhh....ethyl acetate. Why there is so much of you??

In addition, Kelsey is sick, so I have been charged to stay away until he gets better. GET BETTER!

~~

I'm back in my room now just chilling out. And I just remembered that it's Wednesday and that means Treasures of Yale day. We went to see the Sterling Map Collection (which has some insane number of maps and globes and stuff, over 14,000 of which are digitized) and we had some great analysis of a Oaxacan deerhide map and some beautiful European sea charts. I have super low quality pictures on my phone which does not pick up color like it should, but seeing the maps and hearing Dean Miller (who's got such a passion for them) speak was wonderful. It was like analyzing art and it makes me wonder what "twenty-first century art" will be in three hundred years.

BEDUS Day 16: Don't you be touching my sword! Actually, you can touch it; it's ok.

As I expected, I've hit a point in BEDUS where I am so tired that I can barely open my eyes yet I still have so many emails to send that I feel like my fingers are about to fall off. It's like those journal entries that I used to write when I knew I had to write in my journal, but really just wanted to go read a book (oh lo the days before the internet). However, I do want to blog, so here it is:

My day consisted of a lota lab, a little chem club dinner, some Phoenix dancing, MY SWORD #1 ARRIVING, and oh yeah, did I mention the sword? I'm thinking about doing a sword dance later this semester, so I got one. Yeah. That should be fun to choreograph. The one that came is the retractable Tai Chi sword that I'll probably use to choreograph during spring break or something so airport security doesn't confiscate it. Maybe I'll do a sword/ribbon duo. Ideas, ideas...

Also, I tried to open an ampule today in lab and failed. I was just too scared to get triflic anhydride on me, and wouldn't you be? It's got ten tons of packaging around it because of its danger factor and even though I knew I just had to hold it and go for it, I got Jenn to do it for me anyways. Note to self: stop being such a scaredy-cat. Go try with some DMSO or just whack it off with a knife. That will go over well. But seriously: gotta learn how to open an ampule before hitting grad school. Side project.

And now more seriously, gotta go nap. All this excitement of receiving mail over the past couple of days have got me amped up and tomorrow is going to be another tough lab day. Well, not tough. Just gotta work fast and clean faster. Mmmm...goodnight!

BEDUS Day 15: Year of the Dragon

Dear Blog,

Today marks the first day of the new lunar year, the year of the dragon. The year of the dragon is seen as the luckiest in Chinese tradition and so far, I can say that the year has been going pretty well. Though the weather outside has been, depending on who you talk to, either Gothically romantic or dismally dreary (I prefer to think of it as the former), I have been rather warm in my new long sleeved t-shirts and fuzzy hats, and have been lucky to be in the company of wonderful people. In addition, I am lucky to have understanding advisers and professors, and the most supportive family a girl could ask for. I do not want for food or shelter, and instead have a surplus of both. I am intellectually, socially, and creatively stimulated on a daily basis, and never find myself bored.

I can honestly say that this is the start of a great year.

Today's blog is short because I'm in the middle of reading about Mexican maps and listening to Ministry of Magic.

Until tomorrow,
Angela