Blogmas Days 5+6: Performances

Yesterday, I had Winter Showcase for my dance group. I have decided that I am definitely no longer an undergrad. This is a couple of years late, but every time I am in a room with screaming, hyper teenagers, I get a little grumbly. It's probably because I don't really know any of them. Goodness knows I still scream like a little girl around my friends.

Today, K and I went to Top of the Hub, Boston's tallest dining experience, on the 52nd floor of the Prudential Towers. Dinner was seafood filled and totally filling. Then we saw the Boston Pops Holiday Concert. I miss orchestras and orchestral concerts. They played Hallelujah and I was immediately taken back to high school and the billion times we played it. There was also a singalong portion that I greatly enjoyed, and a narration and accompanying soundtrack to The Polar Express. 

It's now late and rainy. Signing off!

Blogmas Day 3+4: The Last Classes

I thought that I was done with "last class" experiences after finishing my last real class last semester. But yesterday was the last class of the class I am teaching. Usually, I feel very bittersweet about the last times for things. For every last lecture of classes that I've taken, I get a pang of sadness, even when the class has been pretty boring. I've always been very sentimental and have disliked changes in my routine and the ends of things.

But this time, there is not really a bittersweet feeling. I don't really feel sad that the class is ending. It's not that I've disliked my students. In fact, I've found them to be wonderful and it's been great to watch them grow this semester. I've even learned quite a bit this semester. It's just that teaching takes so much time, and working across the river, I feel like I haven't had much time to really devote to research. Classes aren't really my priority anymore and that's ok.

Tonight, I'm giving my last section. I suppose that this should also be a bittersweet occasion, but I really just want to get it over with. Cell signalling is interesting, but ultimately, not my cup of tea. Here are pictures from today: the river and a group of people being festive. Random.

Blogmas Day 2: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I knew Christmas season was starting when coffee shops started putting out their holiday cups and serving holiday drinks (current favorite from Starbucks: Gingerbread Latte...yum) and storefronts started displaying snowflakes and mannequins in thick scarves and festive hats. Cambridge does this thing where they string up nets across the lampposts and make patterns of lights in them to make the whole street sparkle.

But today, as I stepped off the T in Harvard Square, I noticed my first nighttime lit Christmas tree. And though it was only a marginally chilly 37 degrees out, it suddenly felt a lot more like winter and Christmas here.

Blogmas Day 1: New York Adventure

Blogmas 2013: This year, I shall include at least one image with each blog post!

New York, in December

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It's December! The holiday spirit has hit me (it hit in mid-October, but who's counting) and after the awesome NYC adventure I went on with KKS, I decided that I would revisit Blogmas this year, particularly because I won't be spending Christmas with my family.

K has come to Boston for Thanksgiving, one thing I have to be very thankful for, and besides cooking a turkey and gravy and Brussels sprouts for our Friendsgiving potluck, we've been bumming around Boston doing some light Black Friday shopping and hiding from the rain by watching movies and playing music. But this weekend, we went to New York, for a bit of a nostalgic adventure as well as to see Twelfth Night, my favorite Shakespeare comedy, staring Stephen Fry, one of my favorites as well, as a wonderfully sympathy-inducing Malvolio. We got seats on the stage, and I was so close to Mr. Fry that I could have reached out and touched him as he was leaning against our booth. (Disclosure: I refrained, but the older lady sitting next to me did not.) I was so close that I could see the spit flying out of the actors' mouths. (They were all actors; an all male cast with men playing the women as originally done in Shakespeare's day, which made for some very funny hysterics.) I was so close, in fact, that when the Fool was dressing himself in a cloak and fake beard, I GOT TO HOLD THE BEARD.

Overall, it was a wonderful experience and even though I did not get pictures of the play itself, I did get this:

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Today, we wandered around the West Village with IS, got some coffee near NYU, which had all the stereotypical hipster students wandering about, and strolled along the river, marveling at the dog owners and their dogs and talking about generally non-important things. Our bus ride home was elongated greatly by the three accidents on the road and I learned that the toilet on the bus was nothing more than a hold over a huge vat of disinfectant. Joy.

But I'm back home in my room now, safe despite overturned trains and malfunctioning cars, and looking forward to the next couple of weeks before going home. I'm excited for LJ to return bearing Christmas decorations for our little apartment, as well as Christmas baking and gift giving.

There is not one photo that encompasses my New York trip, so I shall include some. Happy Dec. 1!

"You are halfway."

Halfway through my run, my training app will let me know that I have gone halfway. Usually, I can gauge how fast I should go depending on where I am in my run. However, in the last week, the ratio of run to walk has increased so that I am running twice as much as I am walking and suddenly, I am running much further than I have been. It's kinda awesome, since generally, I am not dying by the end of the run (yay!).

I've also, at this point, made it halfway through the training regiment. 4 weeks down and I'm feeling...like maybe I can see this through? I have found that I'm not so good at running by myself. I tend to overexert myself in the beginning which leads me to get tired around 3/4 of the way through. Hopefully, I'll be able to work on this in the coming weeks.

Other adventures of the week:

Monday: Labor Day. Our lab website goes live! I've been working on this for about 2 months and finally setting it live was a great feeling.

Tuesday: Classes started. For the first time, I've sat in the class as a member of the staff and it's definitely interesting seeing it from this side. I feel like I appreciate the information so much more even though I know it already and I know that a lot of it is gross oversimplification. Also, I've found out that I need coffee. And a way not to spend all my money on coffee.

Wednesday: GOT A BIKE! I love her, but she still needs a name.

Thursday: Halfway through Couch to 5K! Electric run in 4 weeks!

Friday: Mustaches and Bow Ties Party. This was a thing that happened.

Week 2 Day 1

For anyone who knows me, running is not on my list of high, or even moderate, priorities. I suppose I might think differently if I were late for a meeting or being chased by slow moving zombies, but my semesterly run is somewhat of a running joke (ha. ha.) between myself and my college friends.

However, late at night about a week ago, LM and I were alone in the apartment, abandoned by our roommates for the weekend, and somehow convinced ourselves that now was the right time to run a 5K. Because there was this one, the Electric Run, that was coming to a place near Boston and was going to be an explosion of light, color, and amazingness. Now, to anyone who has any endurance, 5K (or 3.1 miles) is not very long. In high school, my friends would regularly run 3 miles during our weekly runs in P.E. But I'm not like that. I don't run. It's never something I've really found pleasure in, or something that appeals to me.

But now, I'm training for a 5K. We're doing this "Couch to 5K" training program and yesterday was Week 2 Day 1. I've made it a week and in general, I just feel...really hungry. Hungry all the time. And headaches. Need to drink more water. Other than that, I actually feel pretty good. I have short term goals and somehow, I'm meeting them. LM, LJ, and I are motivating each other and it's been really good for me.

I will try to keep weekly updates about our progress, because this has actually become pretty important to me.

7 weeks to Electric Run.

Today

As I was walking down the street, it started raining. I opened my umbrella, crossed the street, and a minute later, the top of my umbrella flew off into the road, almost hit a biker, skit across a car's windshield, and got crushed beneath the wheels of a Honda. I stood for a minute, clutching the remains of my umbrella (read: pole) and then walked to work. Because I was getting wet.

July 1

Just a little musing as I wait for my media to warm up.

July 1: The beginning of the fiscal year; the start of the second month of living in my new apartment; the official beginning of my second year of graduate school (even though I've only been here for 10 months). It's amazing to me how quickly time has passed. I suppose that's because I haven't felt settled since moving here, moving from class to class, rotation to rotation, which means that things are always new, always different. I don't think it hurts that I've been having all sorts of adventures -- wandering around Sowa, the open air market near Broadway in Boston wishing I had put more ice in my water bottle, exploring the different eateries in Somerville and downtown, going to cookouts at friends of friends, eating lobster and shellfish courtesy of my program and exploring an island rehabilitated from its past as a glue factory/landfill, cramming into a sweltering hot apartment trying really hard not to roll my eyes at drunken philosophical conversations about matter and the universe. (I don't think I succeeded.)

I thought I had grown up in undergrad, and to some extent, I did. I learned so much about myself and shed a lot of the naivete that I had held onto in high school. I opened myself to new experiences, struck out on my own, and tried to become less scared by change. But here, this last year, I think I really blossomed. I began to realize what was important to me, focus on things that I felt would help me become a better scientist and a more well rounded person, and let go of a lot of the judgement and bitterness that I carried with me throughout college. I began to accumulate life experiences and life stories, and I hope I continue to do so.

And now, to feed my cells. Yum.

Shitty Mornings and Blah Days

Today, I woke up with a headache and feeling blah. No reason. Just one of those days, I guess. Although last night was delightfully cool, I tossed and turned and grumbled at my grumbly tummy and this morning, as the birds chirped despite the gray, I just wanted to crawl deep inside my covers and go to sleep for the entire day.

But, no. Because, cells. So now I'm just waiting for my media to warm up so I can go feed them. Yum. Media. Ugh.

Moving and Staying

I've packed up and moved many times in my life. Every time the move has been permanent, I've been more than a little reluctant to do so, because after all, I am a very sentimental person and don't like change. When we moved across the country when I was younger, everything was a bit of a blur and I didn't really notice, but as I grew older, I grew more cognizant of the fact that I would be leaving the home I had known for whatever period of time, never to return.

Well, "never to return" is a bit dramatic. Just a couple weeks ago, I made a trip back to New Jersey to see my aunt and uncle's old houses where I had spent many a summer frolicking in the grass. But it's not the same. You don't go back to the same place every night. You don't call it your home.

When I started college, I was very aware of the fleeting nature of dorm life, and while my friends hung up posters and color-coordinated all their decorations, I couldn't help but think: "I'm moving out in a year. All that stuff is going to have to be packed away or I'm going to have to toss it. Better not." And so, my walls remained bare, save for some note cards that I tacked up or posters reminding me to go to events. I kept many of my boxes, just in case I needed them at the end of the year, and although I accumulated a lot of stuff, I left the empty dorm room at the end of the year saddened that my entire life fit into seven boxes and two suitcases and that I would never really be able to visit that room again without being a totally creepy person.

Last year was much of the same. Dorm life was comfortable, but I itched to get out and find something more permanent. Here at last, I knew that I would stay for at least a few years and if I didn't move for those few years, maybe I could finally put down some roots, design my room the way I wanted it, throw away some of those cardboard boxes, and stop being so antsy around the end of May.

And...it's slowly coming together! In 2 days, my furniture is coming; in 2 weeks, we have our housewarming party. It's an exciting prospect, though there is still so much to be done before we are settled. But I have wall decorations and a mattress and sheets and a comforter set. And I'm excited. :)

All The Trays

 On Friday, I had my last dinner I may ever have as a member of a dorm. We had to buy the graduate student dining hall meal plan, and I was really struggling to use up my meals at the end since I had been doing all this traveling during the semester. And there were several blizzards. And that whole Boston manhunt thing.

I have to say, I was never too enthused by the food in the dining halls. Though convenient and sometimes tasty, it was never that great. Plus, they had this system where we're forced to use trays, for disposal purposes, and after being totally converted to non-tray use during undergrad, it was hard to switch back. I  would automatically go for the food then have to backtrack to get a tray. Annoying.

As I slowly got used to using trays again (though I suspect I will always have some sort of aversion to them....darn you eco-consciousness), they began to be the highlight of my meal. Because sometimes, people would leave messages on their corners. Here's a compilation of all the ones I have found. I suspect they were not the only ones....

An unfinished specimen:

Also, this:

Research

I go to trivia every week. This week, we won! The team efforts were superb (we came up, after much internal debate, with both Shaun White and Whitney Houston), and it was the best round of trivia I had ever been to.

One does not have to study for trivia. It's kind of the thing that you pick up while watching stupid TV (Millionaire Matchmaker?!) or retained from APUSH (Aaron Burr vs. Alexander Hamilton). And if you're lucky, the questions fall in your favor and you win!

However, early next month, some of my friends want to do a "Geeks Who Drink" trivia featuring the HBO hit Game of Thrones. Now, even though everybody and their mother watches Game of Thrones, I had never gotten that into it, mostly because it's the kind of show where people make frustratingly stupid decisions that affect things like who rules the (Seven) Kingdom(s). And UGH if everything could not have been solved if Ned Stark wasn't so blindly loyal. Anyway, because up until last week, I had never watched an episode, I decided to do some research on the matter, because, as far as I can tell, Geeks Who Drink trivia is intense. And...TV research is frustrating. I can usually retain much more information about TV than I can reading papers (in much finer detail), but when I'm actively researching a TV show, I can't do it. If I like a show, I'll gravitate towards it and marathon and remember everything. But, like I said somewhere in the last couple of posts, you can't be into everything. And GoT is not....my jam. I'm too angry at too many people for it to work convincingly for me. Even though I appreciate the artistry, I'm all about people's stories and people here make too many bad decisions for me to respect them. That's kinda how I felt during Downton Abbey when my favorite character, Mr. Bates, became just....frustrating. BATES. WHY YOU GOTTA DO THAT.

I'm currently about 3/4 of the way through season 1. Will I watch the rest? Probably. Blegh. Peer pressure.

Lasts and Firsts

Last Thursday, I had my last class of my first year of graduate school. It's taken me a couple of days, a brewery tasting tour, a Game of Thrones marathon, and a movie watching extravaganza to celebrate. Or perhaps, the right phrase is "come to terms with this fact," the fact that I'm no longer a student in the lecture and final exams sense. And it was...anticlimactic. I think I was already so checked out after turning in my final proposals that I was ready to be done, and mentally I already was done. One of my classes was already done and I just had a presentation left in the other. And afterwards, I did as I do on Thursday nights and went to trivia and it felt normal. No big sense of relief, no jumping for joy. Just...normal.

Of course the weekend was much more exciting in that I had no schoolwork to do, so I definitely felt freer. But in big scheme of things I wonder if I have stopped being a "student." This thought scares me a little, but at the same time, it makes sense. For me, I am so inundated with facts and information that my brain filters the best it can. I can't be interested in every lecture that comes my way, and whereas a few years ago, I would have resisted and tried to force myself to pay attention to anything anyone in any kind of authority would say, I have now accepted the fact that if you want me to listen to you, you'd better have something really good to say or say it in a way that gets my attention. I have accepted that there are things I don't care about. These things may be very important to some people, and I am glad that they are important to these people, but they don't have to be important to me. And I know that now. And that's ok.

There's not really a conclusion to this post. Perhaps more of a beginning. It's the first Monday to work. Should be an interesting ride.

Five Years On

Last weekend, I was in DC for the National Science Bowl competition. I went back for the first time last year as a volunteer and relived a little bit of excitement and a little bit of bitterness that I experienced when I competed. I'll be the first to admit that I can hold a grudge forever and last year, the anger at the mishandling of science during my year of competing came back full force. Maybe it's because I recognized how much better things had gotten since 2008 and I still had the "what if" question in my mind. What if things had been different?

Actually, it probably wouldn't have changed my life too much, and it's not like I'm not pleased with the current trajectory of my life. But I still can't talk about that day without wanting to hit something.

However, this year, five years after I graduated from high school, all that drama in 2008 doesn't seem to matter so much. I think it's because I already gone back once before and met people who I consider more as friends than as competition. However much I loved competing, being on the other side of the competition, on a team of awesome alumni who don't take anything too seriously, is an amazingly inclusive feeling. In high school, I had never felt more included than when I was in Science Bowl, which I think was why I felt so much pressure to do well, to not let my team down. But the alumni at Nationals are so ready to accept newbies with open arms and it's so easy to bond with them that for me, the 4H Center no longer holds painful memories of losing the last 9 pm match, but of late-night sprawling on the floor of the lobby, of complaining about the terrible food while eating all the softserve possible, and of hugs and funny faces and obnoxious behavior during practice rounds.

Also, the knowledge that it's been five years since high school, which makes me too old to really have known anyone who is in high school now, gives me pause. It's hard for me to imagine being relevant to these high schoolers (and even more so, to the middle schoolers) and I know when I was in high school, I didn't really care about anyone else who was there. To them, I'm just another judge that they have to appease. I mean, do I really have so little going on with my life that I've gone back to judge a science competition?

I've tried, as most of my peers do, to separate myself from Science Bowl, to move on with my life. Yet  somehow, despite the seed of bitterness and regret, I found myself back there. What does that mean? I'm not sure yet. But I think I'll keep going back. After all, it's nice to see the kids squirm.

Thoughts About the Boston Marathon

This shit is scary. I wasn't there, running or standing at the finish line, but my heart hasn't stopped pounding for over two hours. My fingers are tingling, my head is spinning, and my stomach, though happy with the delicious salad that I just ate, nevertheless has felt a little sick since I heard the news. As far as I know, no one I know has been directly affected by the blast (thank goodness), and every message I get that someone else is ok really should make me feel better, but in reality, I'm on edge like I've never been before. I want to laugh and hug someone and tell them that everything will be alright, but right now, I'm not alright.

I. am. not. alright.

Today was supposed to be a good day. I got my ID (finally) and a fancy new lab notebook, and have an experimental plan and don't have too much homework and everything was supposed to be fine. And relative to some people, I expect I have had a good day. But maybe this hit a little too close to home for me. Literally.

I don't know if I want to be alone tonight, or if I should be with people. My dinner with DL and NS was nice because it took my mind off things for a little bit at least, but later, will I be able to sleep? I take that route to school every day.

The streets were eerily quiet as I walked home today. Was it just me? I don't usually go home so early, so maybe that's what it's like at 5:00 pm....nope. The cars that are usually making it home around this time are gone. The bustling pedestrians, gone. Among the smattering of people I do see, there are only silent footsteps and rustling wind.

Just some thoughts. Now, just to breathe.

Updates: Bits and Bobs

It's been...a rough semester. Not so much rough, as in "I hate life and want to drop out of grad school" rough, but more like the "I'm so busy when will I have to breathe" rough. In fact, it's been really awesome, and I've had a ton of adventures, and I've worked really hard, and as a result, my body completely broke down this past weekend and I have been quite laid up in bed with what can only be described as a chest cold. My throat has decided it's going through puberty and I sound like an adolescent boy, my lungs are all phlegmy, and my body is just exhausted. But through a strict diet of soup, ice cream, and rom coms, I have pushed past this weekend and in a few days, I'm sure I'll be in tip top shape again. Let's take a breeze through the past couple of months and see what I've been up to.

January:
- CB Bootcamp. *snore* Some cool moments, like seeing E again, but mostly...>.>

-CB Bootcamp Happy Hour. Much better.

- Lab holiday party: Fish, gift exchange, and a new shark best friend.

- SF's housewarming party. That was a hoot and a half. Definitely some memories from that night, including the massive game of Cards Against Humanity and decorating the place with post-it notes.

- Brunching at Craigie on Main. DELICIOUS.

- Winter Luau. Shorts under snow pants is the way to go.

- Grafton Street Rum and Food pairing night. Also delicious.

During this month also existed the coldest week of winter. It was so cold! The river froze over!

Oh also, I got new glasses.


February:

- Dumpling Day! Success.

- Chinese New Year in NJ with family, friends, and Captain America. Success.

-Heard James Watson talk about Oxidants, Anti-Oxidants, and Incurable Cancers. Kinda a hot mess.

- Recruiting weekend. Major success.

- Milken Alumni Event in NY. Also, success.

Also, I learned to, you know, clone genes, grow bacteria, and get protein, and...stuff. Also, there was the giant blizzard that buried everything and almost made it so that I couldn't get back to Boston from NJ. Bad blizzard! Bad!

March:

- Ended my rotation.

- Started a new one.

- Celebrated my spring break/anniversary (3 years!!) in San Francisco, doing amazing things and having an amazing time. My favorite picture of the bunch was our post-Challenge Nation picture. We got 57th/215 and it was an amazing journey of running and leaping and exhaustion and afterwards, we sat in a food court and watched Downton Abbey until our phones ran out of batteries and then saw Foodies: the Musical. What a great day with my best friend.

There really are so many more memories from March and this trip but I'll keep them for another time

Also, EASTER!

April:

- Pulled pretty much my first working all-nighter ever. Napped for an hour from 7 AM - 8 AM and then went to class. ALL THE RAGE TO THE MATLAB.

- ChemBio retreat. Interesting...could be longer....

- Started the process for finding an apartment to settle down in! 

And that brings us to....now. There's been a lot of work involved and a lot of fun and I'm getting ready to recharge for the day. So....here's to the cool things that are happening in just a couple of weeks and....I'll leave you with this delicious specimen:

The Thing About Getting Things

I received notification earlier this morning that I got a fellowship I had pretty much given up hope on. I had applied last year, didn't get it (justifiably...my proposal was a little thin...), applied this year even though I had funding, mostly because of peer pressure and the fact that everyone applies for these things. I know the sequester doesn't really apply here because this fellowship budget is small compared to the overall budget of its parent institution, but it's definitely hard enough to get as it is, and with money problems, I was a little antsy that I might not get anything even if I did make the cut.

The biggest reason that I had given up on it, however, is because I genuinely felt like I wasn't good enough. I've had some pretty powerful people on my side vouching for me, but time and time again, when I look around me and see and hear people with more extensive backgrounds saying words I don't even know how to spell, I feel lost. And dumb. And incredibly lucky to have gotten where I am today. A lot of people have told me that it wasn't luck that brought me to where I am, that my hard work and perseverance have gotten me through, but I've always had a hard time believing it. I know, I know. What are the chances that a person consistently gets into good universities and gets scholarships and stuff like that without hard work? I don't deny that I have worked hard. There have been long hours and long days and long nights. And I have been really proud of some of the work I have put out. But sometimes, when it seems that people can knock out two or three proposals in a day and I have to spend two or three days reading papers just to try to write the background of one proposal, it feels like I've somehow tricked everyone else into thinking that I'm a more awesome person than I am.

 When I woke up this morning, however, and saw the email, my first thought was: YES I AM A HAPPY PERSON TODAY! My second thought was: I finally am sure that I belong here. For me, it's less about the money (though it's wonderful and I'm grateful for it) than about the satisfaction that some stranger, who had never seen or talked to me, can understand my science and be excited about it. I know I have had great support from my family and friends and all those others who have been biased in my favor by my winning smile, and that I really shouldn't seek external validation from a panel whose job it is to sort through some 13,000 applications, but it's nice to know that the idea for a proposal I drafted when I was still a noob scrambling to get my thesis together wasn't just hogwash. And that my ideas in general, while sometimes simple, straightforward  and relatively uncreative compared to some of the amazing science going on today, is still....better than ok.

More than that, as I read over my proposal again this morning, I realized how far I had come since November. It's really only been a few months, but I have many more ideas now, for many more possibilities  and I'm excited to pitch them, reformulate, and pitch again. And I'm excited! And want to hug someone! And want to go dancing!

But...alas. I have another proposal to write. >.> So it never ends.

Too Hot

It was 55 degrees today. In late January. In Massachusetts. Basically, it was glorious. There's definitely something to be said for not having to put a coat on just to go outside.

However, temperature controls in the lab were screwed up. I think it hit a high of 84 degrees. Too hot. Also, running back and forth between the warm room (37 deg C) and the lab with residual sweat running into my eyes was not a pleasant experience. Too hot.

But for some reason, I'm still smiling. Maybe because I had an unintentional sauna detox. Maybe because the cold room actually felt good today.

Ultimate Goal: learn to layer more efficiently, for all rooms in the lab. Also, never underestimate the power of the warm room.

Happy Last First Day of Classes!

Good things that happened today:

-Made it to Millis and class on time.

-Classes were awesome. [waiting for tomorrow's class to be super awesome so I won't have such a hard time choosing]

-Randomly saw both BKu and RoTh today.

-The pear I've been ripening for the last week was perfectly ripe and delicious.

-Got back just in time to get a free flu shot.

-The protein prep I ran last week worked beautifully. And the gel is nice and stained and blue where I want it to be.

-I learned how to design primers and no longer feel stupid.

-Made it to dinner with 5 minutes to spare and got the last mushu pork wrap.

Today has been a good day.

Balletone

I went to my first Balletone class today. It's like a mixture of ballet-inspired pilates, yoga, and stretching, and wow. I am so sore my legs have turned into jelly. It wasn't cardio intensive at all but dude. Tired. Sleepy.

Peace out.

Someone I Thought I Knew

Because our class is a two-week intensive bootcamp of science-techniques-that-you-should-probably-know-and-would-probably-be-useful-but-no-one-just-sits-you-down-and-tells-you-these-things, we have a different instructor every day and sometimes, their grad students or post docs come and sit in on the class. Thus, there are occasionally new faces. And then, sometimes, there are old faces. Today, I spent much of my free time wondering who this one girl in the class was and how I knew her. I didn't actually ponder this for a long stretch of time because the lecture was pretty interesting and I was mostly engrossed in that, but every time we had a break, I would look over and wonder, "Where have I met this person before?" I correctly assumed that she was a post-doc in the lecturer's lab and that she had been a grad student in my undergrad chem department. I also knew her name started with an E and that she had probably been my TA at some point, but as I wracked my brains trying to figure it out, I realized, that, I just couldn't. I enlisted Kelsey's help, and although he had nothing to offer (and rightly called me a creeper), I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew this person somehow.

It wasn't that she had especially striking features or remembered me or anything. But I continued to have this nagging feeling that whatever context I had seen her in before was not the context here, so thus, something didn't belong.

So I went through all my classes, dismissed the classes that Kelsey and I had together (which was a surprising lot, considering that our interests are pretty far apart), and listed the TAs of every class I had and at last, AT LAST(!), figured out that she had been my junior year Chemical Biology TA. How ironic that I should see her again during my Chemical Biology bootcamp when it was that class that inspired me to take up research and go to grad school. So, though I didn't go to any of the "TA help sessions" and you gave me one of the worst science grades I received during undergrad, thank you, E, for being a part of my class that changed the trajectory of my life and led me here, where I know I belong.

Baby Workout

Today, I did a baby workout. Man, the gym sure is crowded before dinnertime. So I biked and stretched. Never doing upright bikes again. Butt hurts. Also, first day of winter classes. 9-5 sure is a long time. And it all begins again tomorrow. Whee!

Oh. And I started looking for apartments. No luck yet, but the year is still young.

January

It's January. I don't believe I actually made a list of resolutions last year, choosing instead merely to reflect upon the ones I made in 2010, and I'm not sure whether to make one this year. If I were, I would include things like

- Keep hydrated. (So notoriously bad at this...)

- Cook/bake more. (It would help if I didn't share a kitchen with half my floor, but that's really not an excuse.)

- Be social (and sociable). [I started getting good at this last year! Let's try for more.]

- Take more pictures and video. Document the life. Although I cringe a little when I watch myself on camera, it's always such great memories.

- Get fit. (Resume dancing, maybe? Or try something new.)

The academic stuff is never a real "resolution" for me. Grades, papers, and lab work are always goals that I strive to achieve, but I don't have to steel my resolve to do it.

This New Year's passed, as most do, with not a whole lot of bang. I got to spend it with Kelsey (first ever!) and my family so I was rather pleased, but other than the staying up way passed when I wanted to listening to Kathy Griffin make Anderson Cooper feel uncomfortable, it wasn't really a whole lot of shabang. Which, I'm ok with, considering most of my New Year's have been me cuddled up on my couch watching the ball drop completely unceremoniously (it's not as sad as it sounds, promise).

Other things I did this break were:

-DISNEYLAND!

-Went to my first college alumni holiday party.

-First double date with Kelsey's sister + boyfriend (oh, and meeting them. Ramen and karaoke and shopping and YUM SOON TOFU).

-Volunteered with some awesome people at Project Angelfood. Scooped potatoes for a couple hours. Master scooper.

-Walking about in Franklin Canyon.

-Watching a ton of movies (Les Mis, The Hobbit, Rise of the Guardians, The Great Mouse Detective, Adventures of Tin Tin, Ping Pong Playa). We watched Les Mis in the most amazing theater with diner services and reclining chairs.

-Got hooked on QI. Oh, Stephen Fry, you delightful gentleman. (And Phill Jupitus!)

-Traditional board game birthday party complete with R.V.'s delicious brownie cake. YOM.

- A lot of Epic Mickey 2.

- And eats!

And now I'm back in chilly Cambridge, with a stock of soup and hot chocolate and blankets and sweatpants and am comfy cozy, though I do miss LA and the people there. But I have begun putting projects in place for 2013. Hee. Hee. Hee. :)

Snuggles you later,

A