A Goodbye

When I was younger, I spent an uncalculatable number of hours in Waldenbooks while waiting for my mom to finish shopping in the mall. Because I hadn't yet become a library rat (I was only in elementary school), I read most of the new releases to my favorite series (Magic Treehouse, for instance), in Waldenbooks, and it was always a treat to go there. We never bought any books, as I wasn't really a go back and read over and over kind of girl, and so I always looked forward to going to the mall, if only because I could go to the bookstore.

As I grew older and I began spending more time in the library, on homework and such, I visited bookstores less, mostly because there were so many books I could read in the library (it took me about 3 years to exhaust myself in the public library during middle and high school, and even then, it was because I had more work to do than I wanted). I also became increasingly paranoid that they would find me reading in the bookstore and kick me out (bending pages! crinkling corners! you know that's right. what.). Of course, all my SAT needs were met in the bookstore, since the library was woefully inadequate in that department, and so, Borders became my go-to bookstore. There was one in Westwood, where mom worked and I could easily spend a day reading, studying, and sneaking a coffee.

Slowly by slowly, however, the Borders around us have begun to go out of business and close, which makes me extremely sad. Even more sadly, I got an email about a week ago saying that Borders was closing for good. And this, compounded with the fact that I pretty much just found out that Borders owned Waldenbooks, cuts pretty deep in my heart because that's where I spent so much of my childhood. I was a nerd first. I loved tetherball and racing, and I played hard, but I loved a good book more than anything. It just makes me a little sad. More than a little.

RIP Borders. May your fate not be that of bookstores everywhere. The end of an era shouldn't come so soon.

Mid-Year Reflection

It's July 3. That's 2 days after the mid-year point so I figure I'd look back at my New Year's Resolutions and consider a bit.

On Jan 1, I said that this year, 2011, I would:

1. Take better care of my hair/body.[I think I have done this. I lost some weight during spring with all the dancing I did and I'm much more toned now. I also moisturize regularly, even during the summer when all I want to do is lie on the hardwood floor and stop sweating.]

2. Find a lab and stick to it. [Check]

3. Find something financially stable to do during the spring and summer. [Check. Working in Lab, Oh Yeah.]

4. Raise my GPA. [Halfway there...]

5. Experiment with food. [Have you seen this yet? Have you?]

6. Laugh more; laugh louder. [We'll see what happens when the new semester rolls around, but this one has been one of the best that I've had. Plus, I found Community, which means that I am laughing a lot more. :D]

7. Love more freely. [Check :)]

8. Forgive more easily. [Jury's out on this one. I'm not sure that there has been much for me to forgive this year, yet. Although, I'm sure this is going to be something I work on for most of my life since, I have a problem with people who wrong myself and people I love.]

9. Be less messy. [WORKING ON THIS. SIGH. :/]

10. Stop losing halves of pairs. [I found some halves of pairs. Does this count?]

11. Live. [So far, so good.]




Currently listening to: Come on Get Higher, Matt Nathanson

One of those days

It's been one of those days.

A day where every piece of glassware that touches your hands either breaks or gets knocked over.

A day where your product either doesn't seem to want to be UV or KMnO4 active, so you really can't see via TLC whether it's there (i.e. time to use more stains but I hate doing TLC's because I'm not all spot happy yet).

A day where every other TLC plate falls in the solvent.

A day where there are a bajillion people lined up to use the NMR.

A day where too much sand comes out when you tip the jar.

A day where solvent just doesn't want to stay in its container. Any solvent. And all of them.

A day where you splash water everywhere when washing dishes.

A day where you forget to put your products (one of which probably isn't a product) on High-Vac, wash your hands, and then realize as you're about to pack up that you have to do that.

Sigh.

A day where I just want to give up, go home, snuggle in bed with the fluffy blankets, and play Castaway 2.

Luckily, Vicki brought cupcakes. :]

Day 2

Project status: unknown.

Today's endeavors: fail.

Tomorrow: Rally and try a harsher way to cleave a peptide that's not actually a peptide.

Later: eat free food. NOM.

First Daily Vlog?!?

Kelsey and I are starting a daily vlog blog. Yes.

This Side of Orange

For once, I feel...

...different.

For my past 20 birthdays, I have felt the same as I did the year before, a year older, yet, not really. Even in Greece, the first birthday I've had apart from my family ever, it was underwhelming to turn 20. That may have been because I was in Greece, and really, everything was underwhelming compared to that.

This year, maybe it's the amount of shopping I have done for myself, the number of pairs of shoes I have bought, the amount of makeup I have accumulated, the number of things I have purchased for other people, the amount of money I have saved and spent over the past year that makes me feel like I've grown up a little...a lot even. It seems silly, writing it down, because so many of these things are material things, and isn't change supposed to come from within? Aren't I supposed to feel different because inside, I've become more in tune with myself as a person, not because I've bought a lot of stuff?

Yet, maybe it's because I do have all this stuff that I feel like something has shifted. For as long as I can remember, I have felt that nothing I had was ever really mine. That seems silly because who else is going to wear my pointe shoes or care about the condition of my stuffed animals? What else is plastic wrap supposed to be used for other than wrapping stuff up? For whose benefit is it if the chocolate is never eaten? But I liked things to stay the same. *SENTIMENTALIST ALERT* I wanted things to be new. If I ate the pretty chocolate, or took the doll out of the box, it would be ruined. I wouldn't have it anymore.

It's taken me awhile to see that I can't keep holding on to things hoping they won't change, that money is meant for transactions, that chocolate is meant for eating, that people are meant to evolve. Maybe that's why I feel different, because I have let go.

Of course, it's not just those material things. I spent a lot of time with my mom and we are closer than ever. I am more open now, with all of my friends. I am in a happy and healthy relationship. I have been evolving. It's just taken me some time to get my legs and crawl out of the ocean. And (being as it that I can't really swim) I really like it on land.

By the way, I would totally be this lizard.

Freehand

obscure things this will just be a stream of consciousness thing about thing that what was I even thinking about again? vampire zombie blue nail polish! my mind works in mysterious ways but so does everyone's mind and it's so breezy here. I like this dress. I was a cuddly baby. This is going to be smashingly awkward. Can't I just have a day to curl up and watch Doctor Who? I used to think it could be abbreviated Dr. Who, but that's silly because he's the Doctor, not a doctor. And OH MY GOODNESS. And every time I sit down to watch it, I just get interrupted anyhow. I need to trim this odd bit off my nail. I just wrote hair when I meant to write nail, which was weird because I like my hair now, especially now that I have a straightener that I am learning how to use. Fun fun fun fun oh look the weekend has already passed. Only a couple more days until I go back? go to? school and I still can't decide which is more real, my time here or my time there. And maybe they're both real. Got to go bye.