Advising

Here's the funny thing about advice. You ask for it having previous conceptions about what you think you want to hear. Sometimes, you do hear what you want to hear and it confirms what you think you know about yourself. Sometimes, you get great advice! You get amazing tips and tricks and life is rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes, you don't.

This can be quite frustrating for many obvious reasons, not the least the fact that there's this nagging feeling that people are trying to make you do what you don't want to do, which is never fun. In this case, it seems rude to dismiss the advice because hey, you asked for it, and also because the people you asked to advise you are probably people who know something you don't, who can see something you don't. And then there's that little voice inside your head that says, "What if they're right? What if the best thing for me is to do what I don't want to do?"

It doesn't change the fact that every cell in your body rejects this idea. "They don't know me," you think. "I want to do what I want. Isn't it time that I get that courtesy?"

But then, maybe, just maybe, if you think about it, they do know you. Maybe, if you look closer, the advice isn't just something that you should throw by the side of the road. Pick it up, brush it off. It might truly be not only the best thing for you, but something that, upon closer inspection, you do want to do yourself. I mean, your advisers aren't the enemy. They're on your side. They see what you don't see.

So don't reject all advice that seems at first rejectable. Consider why they gave that advice in the first place. Then, do what you want.

Things I Learned in China: Part 1

I've been in China thus far for five days and in these five days, I have turned a year older and grown a bit wiser. Here are some of the things I learned.

1) If you have Gmail, get another email when coming to China. Sometimes, the overlords will block Gmail (or the whole of Google) randomly. And Youtube, Facebook, and Blogger are strictly off limits at all times. Alternatively, get access to a reliable proxy if you don't want to miss your Youtube subscriptions.

2) The Chinese are always out to compete with one another. Case and point: the Pudong region of Shanghai (east of the river) has such things as freestanding pergolas next to some stop lights that provide shade to those waiting for the light to change. If in doubt of their purposes, the words on the structure literally invite you to wait in the shade while the light is still red.

3) So. Much. Food. Sometimes, people put excessive weight on the fact that people who are visiting a place tend to eat out. As in, Every Day. However, in the five days I have been here, I have eaten at three different restaurants, had take out for breakfast and have absolutely no regrets. Perhaps it's a little different in China because so many people buy takeout breakfast, but there were legit restaurants the next couple days. We went to a buffet the third day for my aunt's birthday (mixture of Middle Eastern and Japanese food, complete with belly dancers), a sushi place for my birthday (with lichi cocktail that wasn't that tasty), and a Chinese restaurant today (oh my lord the spicy stays in your throat). I think the trick has to be to eat your fancy meal for lunch and eat a light dinner. That way, you can work off some of your calories as you're perusing strange marketplaces beneath Science Centers.

4) Don't order the fruit juice in restaurants. You don't know what's in it.

5) I have fallen back in love with Glee because of Damian McGinty and his equally adorable roommate Cameron Mitchell.


So that's my brief interlude onto the internet. I will update as possible and am now going to go watch more Rory on Glee.

Toodles!

Leaving a Bit Behind: Goodbyes

Three years and nine months ago, I came to this place so excited that I had goosebumps despite the smothering humidity and so terrified that I could stop moving for fear that if I ran out of something to do, the reality of the change before me would smack me down like an elephant-sized cinder block, straight onto the Yale blue stone. I felt the weight on my heart as I feel it now, as I stare at the green couch that has amazingly made its way back into this suite after we gave it away sophomore year. And again, as I think about the adventures to come, the changes to come, I don't want to acknowledge the way I feel; I don't want to mourn the loss of the last four years.

 I wrote the words above as I was sitting in my common room on my very last day of college, rather, my first day of my post-undergraduate life. It was the day after graduation, and everything had been packed up, including my poor Alzheimer's-ridden computer that was trying so hard to boot up with a hard drive that kept deteriorating each time it did. I had spent the last night with friends, a celebratory drink at Rudy's, lying on the couch sprawled on top of one another, breaking the ceremonial clay pipes that marked the end of our Yale-hood. And yet, it didn't seem like it would be, could be enough. The trick behind graduation is that you're so busy with Baccalaureate, Class Day, Commencement, the ceremonies, the picture-taking, the standing, the sitting, the walking, and the cheering, that you don't have time to really say goodbye. Maybe it shouldn't be goodbye; after all, we'll probably, maybe, see each other again. But that way of life, the dining halls, awkward encounters at 3 AM in the bathroom, collective sympathetic sighs, are behind us now. Whatever we are, whatever we will become, we somehow became (if we weren't already) adults. And that's a scary prospect.

I can still remember the first time I walked on campus that summer, in the thick summer air, and I thought: "Wow, I could love this place." I remember moving in for the first time and thinking: "I wish the sky were clearer for my first day here," then when it got clearer, I remember redacting my statement. I remember meeting my first roommate for the first time, remember being only slightly disappointed that we wouldn't be BFFs, then finding those who really would be my best friends for life.

When I have a moment alone, I still find myself welling up a little. My heart still constricts and I don't want to just rush off into the summer yet. I don't want to let everything go, yet I don't want to keep remembering. If my poor laptop has taught me anything (besides backup, backup, backup) it's that memories don't last forever, and I don't want mine to go away. It's as if somehow, I can stop them from dissipating by keeping them in my brain-box forever. If I don't pull them out, they can't get ruined, right?

It's not that I'm not ready to move on. Well, maybe I'm holding back just a little. But can you blame me? Sentimentalist here! But I suppose I wouldn't want to be a sleep-deprived, anxiety-ridden, perpetually-hungry, food-driven being forever. Oh wait, I'm going to grad school.

Congratulations to everyone who has gone through the motions and crushed their proverbial (or literal) clay pipes. Good luck and may your futures hold everything you want them to (and some stuff that you don't know you want yet).

Cheers,
This Graduate
Jonathan Edward College
Yale Chemistry 2012

Brief Interlude

Today, I cut Kelsey's hair.

I also saw The Avengers. It was fantastic.

More to blog. More to come. Many, many stories to come.

SUBMITTED!

For the past month, and especially the past week or two, I have felt like this:

Today, at this moment, I feel like this:

THESIS: SUBMITTED.

BALUG Day 6: Is this a sign I should move to New York?

The internet in this Starbucks is super slow and as I'm waiting for my Reaxys page to load, I figure I might as well blog since I haven't in a while. (I do hope that BALUG: Blog A Lot Until Graduation doesn't turn into BALUG: Blog A Little Until Graduation...big cookie for the reference). The reason for the ridiculously slow nets, is probably because I'm on VPN here so I can get to Reaxys because oh hayy this Starbucks is on Broadway. WHAT. I'm in New York for the second-to-last of my grad school visits.

Now, I love visiting New York. Every once or twice a semester when Culture Draw comes along, I am ecstatic to come and spend the day in the Big Apple. I love the glam and the glitz of Broadway. I love Rockefeller Center. I love Central Park, the museums, and the art. I love the feeling fabulous as I walk down the street even when I know I'm not. But I've never thought I could live here. It's always been too tall, too gray and too dirty, too hot in the summer, to humid to bear, too fast, and too hectic. For me, it's always been a great place to visit, as long as I can get away at the end of the day. But being here the past couple of days may have gotten to me. The scary thing is, as I'm sitting in the window facing Times Square, sipping my Skinny Caramel Macchiato, I could see myself living here...if I weren't a chemist.

Don't get me wrong. Columbia was amazing. I loved the campus, what little there was, the professors, the students and the Upper West Side. But I have no illusions about my life if I were to live here. Perhaps, if I were writing my thesis, I would be able to come feed off the energy of this place, but by that time, I fear the novelty will have worn thin. If I were a writer, a designer, an artist, perhaps, the numerous juxtapositions that I see right in front of me could congeal into some sort of inspiring piece of work. At the same time, however, just this weekend, I have unwittingly ran into several friends who I haven't seen for a long time. I had breakfast with I.C., and just ran into K.C. when my computer ran out of batteries and I had to trade plug slots with someone. I didn't even know K was in the city until running into him which is craaazy. I also saw lots of nuns in sequins. Sparkly nuns. Only in Sister Act.

BALUG Day 1!

After much deliberation, I have decided to embark upon BALUG: Blog A Lot Until Graduation. It's after Spring Break now, during which time I visited San Diego, Boston, and Princeton, and it's been crazy just getting my sanity back together and getting enough rest to finish out the year. I realize that this will likely be the last spring break that I have (ever?!?) and it's been more hectic than usual. But what they (my mom) says is correct. As long as you're doing something different that your usual fare, it constitutes a well-deserved break. I think that was just her way of getting me to keep studying different subjects, but it's worked.

This Spring Break led me to play with stuff at the ScienCenter, revisit my high school anxieties, meet old friends, and make new ones. I have admittedly vegged out a bit when I should have been doing stuff like writing my thesis, but I feel like this semester, with all the traveling and having to be on top of my game when not traveling leads me to believe that I needed some serious veg time for myself.

Today, I am blogging during lunch time because I'm not sure how much time I'll have this afternoon. Going back into lab, setting up a couple of reactions, and having to actually do a lot of work. Oh boy! That is why, because of my time restraints and because of my workload coming to the end of the semester, I have decided to scrap BEDUG in favor of BALUG. I'm going to try to blog at least every other day, but if I am just too overwhelmed, I will have a little bit of leeway (for my own sanity). I'm going to try not to think about it, but there are only 63 days until graduation. Holy. Crap.